Cruise Chaos

See my post about Bermuda here.

The ship herself (himself? Check your privilege!)

My feelings on this cruise are more mixed and jumbled than my complimentary Bingo card with 4 four-ways each missing one number.

Disembarking Boston touristy photo

They always take 2!

After getting on-board, a natural instinct is to explore the man-made quarters of hedonism in all of its cheap art glory.

Baby catching fish

Atrium, ooooh. "And she's buying a stairway to heaven..."

Check out dat vase. "I'm all about that vase, bout that vase, no treble"

Meet my friend The Vase

This was a Holland America cruise (synonymous with tameness and old people) to Bermuda from Saturday, 7/4 to Saturday, 7/11. I believe I read some materials along the lines of, "If you want to stay up late and party, this is not the cruise for you." YES!

Here, there was a mandatory safety demonstration that interrupted my sampling of the buffet, forcing me to leave the food. At least, I took a picture of part of the Boston port's supply chain.


Note: This is a post of epic length, and many are too unfocused to read anything in its entirety including myself on occasion, but I strongly suggest that you click read more anyways for better materials.

Endless ocean

Buh-bye Boston/BAUGHSTUN

Even though I am among the few people who haven't watched The Titanic, I know that going on a cruise requires a mandatory The Titanic photo.

I'm on top of the world? 1/3



The Food
There needs to be an entire section on the cruise food, which was good and much better than dining hall food. However, it ensnares people in its unhealthy tentacles and helps affirm that a cruise is actually a bastion of the 7 sins:

GLUTTONY - Lido deck buffet, here's some food I got after the safety demonstration

Greed - Casino
Lust - Maybe for some people
Sloth - Can't sleep and several hours of American Greed on CNBC, please
Wrath, envy, and pride - I don't know

Unfortunately, the seafood buffet was only on the first day. If only I had known better and prepared!

Dessert art on another day. This is why cruises are bad for your health. Like some people, it looks great on the outside but is questionable on the inside.

Another day dessert binge. I mean, normally I try to watch my diet within reason, but this is getting ridiculous. Who says uncontrollable overeating because of deliciousness is fun or healthy?

Late-night pizza binge. My brother joked that the pizza lady is afraid of us since we asked for all the remaining pizza and probably caused her to close early at 9:54 PM rather than 10:00.

"Just take the rest," she quivered in fear and from the tyranny of the oppression. Actually, I think she would be relieved to stop cooking early. The pizza was actually really good and handmade. Speaking of the pizza lady...

The Employees
They were very kind and numerous. It seems that all have good enough English, and the majority seem to have came from Indonesia. It makes me sad in thinking and wondering that minimum wage probably doesn't apply in international waters, which brings up the low-wage globalization debate. Are they happy to be on a cruise serving tourists? Do they make more than in their home country, and is that a good enough justification for paying them low rates? Who knows. However, I wondered how the ship could support so many employees profitably without this controversial facet.

Game of Moans
To pass some time, my brother and I engaged in chess even though we are both horrible, but not horrible enough to throw some checker pieces in.

To signify whose turn it was if leaving

This game was unique since we are both so bad that I ended up promoting so many pawns into queens that the board essentially became like RuPaul's Drag Race

A Sandwich Story
My brother took several packaged sandwiches back to the cabin, and apparently another lady had the same idea. We darted down the stairs and passed a larger lady. Only I was shocked that she accidentally dropped a sandwich in-between the railings. "Oh, I'm so sorry, that was an accident! It wasn't on purpose!" she apologized profusely from above.

I giggled from the hillarity of the situation and yelled if she wanted it back, but she said, "No, that's fine." An hour later, going up and down the stairs like a zig-zag, I passed the same sandwich missile again.

Since the sandwich can be seen as a symbol of female oppression ("Make me a sandwich!"), I found it interesting that a woman symbolically dropped it (or maybe I sat too long at the art auction), symbolically freeing herself from the reins of such oppression.

Sandwich, CHECK YOUR ASSAULTING PRIVILEGE (it didn't hit me though)

Some people really enjoy cruises, which, to me, seem like excessive bacchanals tailor-made for Dionysus. However, since I do not want to totally lose control and gain 10 pounds eating whatever, and at one point I had to avoid the meat because probably its age made me feel sick, along with the difficulty sleeping in a foreign bed, ridiculously expensive Wi-Fi, and disrupting my domestic plans for a week, I do not particularly enjoy most vacations and think that most traveling except to my motherland of China is highly overrated at this stage. Some people think so too, and I missed creature comforts like the Internet.

Bermuda was of course more interesting and enjoyable than the cruise even though a cruise's amenities sound luxurious. I was also homesick. When I landed, I had trouble distinguishing whether if the floor was still undulating or if my head still was. 

For these factors and others, I did not fully enjoy the cruise since I am not the right type of person to, and I will probably not go on a cruise again for a while. However, there is no disrespect meant for the Veendam, which was a very good ship for people who enjoy it.


Actually, I took it to look cool and was thinking about cheese