Timeless Twitterature - Tweets Era (2016-2021)
1. Instead of breakfast at Tiffany's, let's have breakfast at Denny's
2. The road to presidential office now became a big soap opera with huge budgets and terrible acting
3. If you don't write, it will just be thoughts in your head that no one else knows.
4. Time and sleep heal all wounds
5. Nothing in society was accomplished without the actions of brave people.
6. I realized that I'm living with animals, and I'm not talking about the dog and cat
7. Some people buy things to express themselves, while I express myself by expressing myself.
8. Some politicians need to take Hollywood acting classes
9. Make sure that you do everything while you're alive
10. Reading my Twitter is like dr*gs without the jail sentence and bad feelings
11. ☆ I was jealous of the kids with the 120 crayons, but my cheap parents got me 16 and said, "For the colors that you don't have, you can make them."
12. Costco is one of those great stores where one can buy everything one needs to live, at a good price!
13. A beautiful work comes out of pain
14. ★ Does the government really serve the people, or does it serve those related to the government?
15. A quote from my psych0 late Father: "Art and books are important because they say how a time was like even after when everyone dies. It is one part of how historians piece together history."
16. Living in the world of theories is a bad choice.
17. If everyone were perfect, what would be the point of life, struggles, and striving for anything?
18. ☆ America is a place of many contradictions: of capitalism and free enterprise but liberalism and social welfare, of selfishness but volunteerism, of religious but secular, of limited government but a large federal one, of extravagant rich but many poor, of current optimism but future pessimism, and of hard work but different results.
19. It is obvious that Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's is inspired by Akira: the biker gangs, the marginal and oppressed members of Satellite, the psychic characters, the apocalyptic disaster, and the highways of the futuristic city.
20. Nice people can unfortunately be taken advantage of, which is why most cities are so rude.
21. Young, active people need to understand that many jobs now revolve around using a computer all day
22. Hollywood is just like real life, except the people are much richer and better looking
23. ☆ What unites us all is a love of fried chicken.
24. In America, you can have almost whatever you want, for a price.
25. The media, widespread and powerful enough to change people's thoughts
26. With all this new wireless "smart" technology, sometimes, can we just get up to push a button?
27. Millenial advertising bait: "This product is not about us. It's about you. You are special. You are so important. You are what makes this product great."
28. Science has advanced so much that some female-to-male transgenders look better than most men
29. Are you taking the Standardized Human Intelligence Test (S.H.*.T.)?
30. ☆ Old 2016 office humor: someone said, "I really liked Melania Trump's speech." I said, "You mean Michelle Obama's?"
31. I'm always stuck in limbo of trying to sleep more but being unable to. Maybe I'm just hungry.
32. Sometimes, I wish that I were an animal trapped in the zoo. Oh wait, I already am, I live in society!
33. Sometimes, I wonder if the lives of performing animals are better and more luxurious than in the wild. They do weird, unnatural tricks and then get a reward. Then, I realized that my life is almost the same. I also do weird, unnatural tricks on computer and then get a paycheck.
34. Sometimes, I think that the zoo animals have more IQ than I do.
35. The best things in life may be free, but the very best things cost a whole lot of money
36. ☆ Why does everything in the world have to cost money?
37. I've known more misery in my prior life than happiness, but that's okay because I'm still alive and kicking.
38. Do they get paid just to exist?
39. I sat down so long at work that I am starting to develop a Kim Kardashian butt
40. I sometimes like all-gender restrooms; they're cleaner and more spacious.
41. ☆ What if we lived in a world where the crazies are right, and the elites are wrong?
42. Sometimes, life feels like a role-playing game.
43. Money can make people do things against their will!
44. One reason I watched Dr. Phil is to see if there are people crazier than me.
45. Why do you need to buy a $2 million dollar painting when you can just look at it on Google?
46. Where did all the good fanfiction go?
47. ★ What's wrong with populism? No politician won without being popular.
48. Would you rather be a fruit or a vegetable?
49. Everybody into the toxic debt pool
50. Let's go to Panera Bread, the rich people's McDonald's
51. If everybody thinks that they have an above-average IQ, who are the stupid ones?
52. Is the Eurozone actually the Germanzone?
53. ☆ God is punishing me for being too stupid
54. For central banks, first there was cheap money, then there was free money, and now there's the we'll pay you to take our money. When will the insanity end?
55. A lot may have changed in 2017, but one thing hasn't: the human pursuit for greed, status, and power.
56. If you're South Korea, I thought that my neighbors were bad.
57. People who have children are partially narcissists because they think that they're so great that they need to bring more of themselves into the world.
58. Prices don't go to what you think they should be, they go to where they ought to be.
59. I may not be the smartest, but I have new ideas, and that matters in my opinion.
60. TV shows and movies are often an idealized, much better version of real life, and the actors are usually not employed.
61. The modern fiat money system is basically exchanging one toilet paper for a better one
62. Kim Kardashian may have broke the Internet, but the Fed will break the economy
63. What is your view on the increasing cross asset correlation, potential decline in risk parity, systemic risk, the tempering of inflation with gradual interest rate hikes, and the still relative easiness of financial conditions for debt-leveraged structures? "I have no comment"
64. Did not make the top 300, but the top 30,000! I think I'm number 22,363
65. The most successful hikikomoris
66. They take away more and more rights like a badly run government.
67. Bills are like foot fungus: if you don't take care of them now, they will continue to grow
68. China banned Lady GaGa for reasons, and I'm sure that they're very good ones
69. I'm the type of person who transforms from a hot girl back to a nerd
70. I would not be a very funny comedian because everything I write is actually what I'm thinking
71. Who needs a stable income when you can grow your own berries?
72. My only achievement in life so far is high test scores. Don't do well in school or read too much and end up like me.
73. If the world had no chocolate, it would be a very sad place
74. No one has ever said that there's too much fanfiction
75. ☆ I like to be fun, playful, and flirty when I'm at church
76. You may not know this, but there is a Chinese version of you right now in China
77. I'm the type of person who gets the first question wrong on Millionaire
78. If you've failed in society, at least you can try to succeed on the Internet
79. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be like if I were a woman
80. If you're not satisfied with your body, you can get gigantic, colorful, and tasteful tattoos
81. Economic inequality is at an all time high, but guess which celebrity split up this time?
82. Funny people are the next to be replaced by artificial intelligence
83. Many people are thinking, "They replaced my job with a machine, when can I replace my spouse with one?"
84. Without Google, the world would revert back to the Stone Ages. Without Facebook, people would get a lot of time back.
85. No one thought that I would succeed at anything, including myself, which is why I'm on Twitter now.
86. For Halloween, I like to pass out worthless Tweets
87. Why play outside when you can have a bright, beautiful computer?
88. Do animals know that they are in jail?
89. I once joined a program for gifted and talented children, and then we had to fight to the death afterwards
90. If you want to feel even more insignificant and dispensable, go to China
91. Recently, I haven't been trying at anything. Then, I started to wake up and realize my life was a cesspool, and I'm drowning in it.
92. This is what happens when the Internet raises you as a child
93. The Koreas ended their war after 57 seasons of K-drama
94. ☆ There needs to be mediocre people in order for there to be successful ones
95. Comedy is the closest thing to touching everyone at once
96. If only I were a rich unethical online skin cream marketer
97. If no one loves you, at least you can love yourself
98. Life is full of woulds, shoulds, and coulds, but those don't get rewarded.
99. Some people continuously improve, while others are in terminal decline
100. There are 2 types of public speakers: those who are morbidly afraid, and those who aren't afraid to start taking off their clothes
101. I'm only 20 pounds away from my weight gain goal
102. ☆ I'm afraid of people who love hearing themselves speak, they don't stop!
103. Why age gracefully when you can age disgracefully with Botox, fillers, and lasers?
104. When they tried to make smoking s3xy, I also think foul odors, self-caused cancers, wildfires, and throat synthesizers are pretty s3xy.
105. Cancer is pretty horrifying because one mistake can exponentially multiply to millions
106. After Armageddon, the fake Paris, Sphinx, New York, Venice, and Roman palace will make archaeologists wonder whether Las Vegas was an advanced and sophisticated human preservation project or tacky H3ll.
107. I may have more critics than a bad movie, but you can't make everybody happy.
108. If I totaled up how much rice I ate in my lifetime, it could fill up a pyramid
109. ☆ Some people wear clothing that is too revealing, but others wear clothing that is not revealing enough
110. In order to make money on the Internet, you need to find some easy service to sell besides s3xual
111. A difference between Las Vegas and H3ll is that you can keep your money in one of them
112. I don't care what the Internet thinks of me, all that matters is the approval of that one cool guy from college whom nobody knows
113. I have potential to turn into a beautiful butterfly or a Twitter lunatic
114. My tweets weren't meant to be funny, they were meant to be inspirational
115. Who's ready to work, retire, and die with me?
116. Your parents are both p!ssed that they raised a bohemian
117. I want to d!e like a prosciutto: rich, fat, and covered in salt
118. Does your intimidating web presence mask the emptiness of your soul?
119. I gaze into my future, and it is full of crap
120. Freedom of Speech means that you can say whatever you want, but the angry mobs and death threats are your problem
121. The difference between a boy and a man is that most of them are the same
122. Sitting in the public library and wondering where my life went wrong
123. I was standing near the bathroom door when this guy slammed it open and smashed my big toe, so I'm going to exercise my right to blame it entirely on him.
124. Why be self-conscious when people are staring at you with a magnifying glass?
125. I may actually speak in person and not send my AI hologram
126. I've done furry things as an online avatar that I regret
127. I send my hologram to do my grocery shopping so angry people can't beat me with a stick
128. Sometimes in the faceless and dizzying city, I feel like an ant and want to go back to my computer
129. You weren't the first person who thought that you would become insanely rich by inventing some new form of umbrella
130. Some men are full of tricks and lies
131. I'm sure that the Hummer was invented for a reason, but I can't figure out what it is
132. People screaming, getting emotional, k!lling, and going crazy over sports totally makes sense
133. If my pillow leaves me, then I will have nobody left
134. I jot down all of my ideas, then those that survive 6 rounds of torture testing end up on Twitter
135. Part of the Twitter game is that you need to figure out which tweets are actually any good. Like most of my stuff, only around 20% is any good
136. I never knew that, while getting older, I would become more immature and ridiculous
137. PE is now not the only class I almost failed
138. I'm afraid when my money makers will stop working, and I run out of things to write about
139. Expectations are so low that they cannot be disappointed
140. One strange highlight in my life is having seen Ivanka Trump, who had a clothing brand, walk down Fremont Street with the late Zappos founder Tony Hsieh
141. 31 draft tweets written in a day; the factory is not producing enough
142. My tweets are like cupcakes: full of empty calories and good for your brain
143. If that franchise can produce endless characters, then so can I
144. I can raise a Tamagotchi, but not myself
145. Some people think that the virtual world is far better than the real one
146. I wouldn't be surprised if 2000s era Toyota Corollas are still running in 2100
147. When authors write about a character so similar to themselves, we can see through the ploy
148. How can you get me when you're over there, and I'm over here?
149. It's good to date a rich person, and it's even better to actually love them
150. I wish I could never age
151. "You have nothing to offer but snarky comments and a pretty face." "Oh, so you have nothing to offer?"
152. What's there to do when traveling besides eat, shop, and get food poisoning?
153. I'm afraid if I spend too much time writing about stuff I have experienced and never experience anything new again
154. The cool people like shopping and traveling, but I like writing profuse amounts of rubbish at home
155. The great thing about writing is that it's free except for time, and that's not worth much to many apparently
156. Many charity scams
157. Are you prepared for the end times? Buy some delicious dry emergency food so you can survive a few days longer than your neighbors
158. Missed some of the best tweets? Always think that the best times are behind us? Think that my writing is getting worse and worse?
159. I sometimes disappear and write for 14 hours
160. I wish that Google Translate would improve so you can prove that angry foreigners really are shouting about you
161. I hate wearing business clothes because I get an oasis of sweat and body-clinging tightness like when people try to impress with a small swimsuit or go to the buffet. I wear serious professional clothes because I'm melting inside
162. Buffets are good examples of adverse selection.
163. ☆ The fact that I was born is direct proof that evolution and survival of the fittest doesn't exist
164. Am I just stupid, lazy, or both?
165. I'm so slow that I started laughing at the professor's joke 30 minutes after everybody left, and I wake up to an evening class of real adults.
166. I am a trans-human, I changed from a man to a Twitter
167. I once panned for gold and ended up finding 2 flakes, that's my level of success
168. They had a bright, colorful, and proud history until I came along
169. Going to California gold country was an eye-opening experience when I thought, I can be like Pamela Anderson too
170. At least you don't have to be popular to make a living after college, just ask all of the corpos
171. It's nice for McMansions to have more than 3 bathrooms so you can use a different one when you're bored
172. Like Coca-Cola, I also sell happiness
173. Instead of touching people of my own species, I wanted to touch animals at the zoo and have a zoological experience
174. My real age was 23, my "real" age is 16, my mental age is 60, and my social age is 12
175. Only zoo animals understand me
176. I was sent from another planet to hijack society's mainframe, but only got as far as Twitter
177. Everyone in my family wonders if they got the wrong baby at the hospital because they can't see my stupidity in themselves
178. Sometimes, I wonder if the TED Talk speakers are actually formulaic robots
179. The weather outside is beautiful, but so is Twitter's
180. Why do you need a private journal when you can just post on Twitter?
181. Why do you need thought leaders when celebrities can do the thinking for you?
182. They asked me to buy Yakult, but I couldn't find any, so I got this reliable Chinese knockoff called Wahaha Ruwawa instead
183. How do you know whether or not I'm normal, and everyone else has high-functioning autism?
184. You must address me by my correct alien pronouns: guttural xxyz / honorific blhrg / him
185. The only way for anything to be interested in my body is for me to be abducted by aliens
186. I like to release a few tweets a day to keep the addicts anxious and shaky
187. I discovered that $0 is not the lowest possible balance in a bank account
188. Once, a SweetGreen handed out free salads after its payment processor broke. There was more exploitation than films about nuns and guns
189. If anybody goes, the Wynn Palace Macau bathroom is one of the most beautiful places you'll ever pee
190. No theme park is complete without overpriced trinkets made by slave laborers
191. You don't need to invent a cure for cancer when you can just invent a way to make 4 copies of an image with different colors
192. Don't you hate when you take a bus and don't know where you end up? It has a yellow brick road and a Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen
193. ☆ Once, we craved Popeye's and happened upon a drive-by shooting while 2 police cars skidded to a halt. Luckily, the fried chicken was safe
194. Thinking about writing greeting cards from the perspective of an angry single 40-year-old woman, but the cards aren't much different from now
195. Some people say that they are working on puzzles for 8+ hours a day, but how do they find a work-life balance?
196. The fact that I wasn't aborted shows that I already won the lottery
197. My accounting professor was one of the most surprising people who played the lottery. He had 5 children, good math and money management skills, but wanted to live like a rapper
198. Surprised that the only thing separating a priceless world painting is a velvet rope and a weak, nerdy-looking intern
199. Who will be the Twitter Shakespeare?
200. A neighborhood Bank of America ATM with bulletholes in the glass is always a reassuring sign
201. Sometimes I scan a crowd and wonder whether if someone is actually secretly a Twitter celebrity
202. Sometimes I wish I run out of things to write about
203. Is my Twitter account so important to your life that you can't live without it? Consider donating all of your assets to the church at OnlyF@ns
204. We can never have too many retellings of the Wizard of Oz just like Nickelback songs and Al Gore movies
205. The day that LinkedIn stops sending useless notifications is the day that climate change reverses
206. DeviantArt is where the next generation's Picassos come from
207. Sometimes fanfiction is there to tell you what not to do and think about
208. Unnecessary details and talking anthropomorphic animals
209. ☆ There is an easy way, but there is no easy legal way
210. This frail elderly lady says that she knows kung-fu
211. I used to have total faith in the world and take walks at night until there was an armed robbery nearby
212. It's important to make yourself appear better on the Internet than in real life
213. You know when the best members of an Internet forum get banned for no apparent reason?
214. Even if you're dumb and lazy, you can become a successful politician, which is why many countries are in flames
215. I can't be predicted by an algorithm
216. I put my hand on the glass and gaze at all the normal people
217. People with several visible piercings and tattoos seem more trustworthy
218. The day that I lost a toenail was the day that I lost my soul
219. Only the psychics with multiple eyes, pyramids, crystals, and live next to a highway are any good
220. I had a friend who's popular in real life, but not the Internet.
221. If you haven't had your nerd transformation before age 25, it's too late
222. I've never had a Mormon knock on my door because they don't want people from our neighborhood
223. They rejected my application to join the K-9 police force
224. A stock market psychic could probably do better than the average hedge fund
225. Considering moving to a country where you can live for $500 a year
226. If you want to keep a man distracted and hypnotized, just turn on the NFL
227. I'm surprised that podcast listeners have the stamina to listen to 50 minutes of endless ranting. If I wanted to do that, I would just turn on C-SPAN
228. New technologies like podcasts, the Apple knockoff of Microsoft Office, and paying to exercise trickle down quickly from rich housewives to the rest of society
229. ☆ The worst thing about exercise classes is that, not only do you have to pay for them, you have to get up and exercise
230. When you're poor, people pay you to ride a delivery bike. When you're rich, you pay to ride a bike and listen to music for an hour with a fitness instructor
231. I once won a company raffle for an exercise class at SoulCycle. Many people looked at me because I was one of the few and only normal-looking man in "One Direction vs. One Direction Solo"
232. I'm so full of heart that I almost need a triple bypass
233. One day people with funny ears are going to become a protected class of people
234. When people learn how to use MS Paint, you know that a new wave of creativity is going to be unleashed
235. A great thing about fanfiction is that you never know when to stop
236. Happiness is in so short supply in postmodern capitalistic society that people will pay others to make them happy
237. The app gives you a default fox avatar, but the last time I was a fox avatar were dark times
238. Thank God that you don't need to be physically attractive to make money
239. One day, the media will be dominated by Z-list Twitter celebrities
240. A lot of news is written about foolish people, but what if they started writing the news?
241. Sometimes I wonder how it's like to be a file on my computer
242. You never know if your writing is any good until 2 years later and you're normal again
243. Very eager to go to my counselor and justify why I've done nothing with my life
244. How does LinkedIn know that I'm Asian?
245. A great thing about the Internet is that everybody can be a writer now, just like what smartphones did to photography and Bernie Sanders did to socialism
246. What can't you be sued for in America?
247. It seems that those in cities are most concerned with wealth and power, but on the highways you can smell the freedom and see the beauty
248. We need rain so it can smell like wet dog afterwards
249. Make sure that you start thinking about your career when you're 14 so you don't end up like me
250. Do cows know that they are delicious?
251. If I were Twitter, I wouldn't be walking around so proud
252. There will never be enough SoundCloud accounts to feed the growing needs of the population
253. You need to be careful when associating with people who have test scores
254. Famous authors helped to build the English language; Twitter users helped to destroy it
255. How do I know whether my followers are real or a click farm?
256. Twitter should disclose in 10-K annual report risks that they depend on people like Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, and Justin Bieber
257. If all your friends are hot and smart, you've done something wrong
258. We need to keep the population growing so I can have more Twitter followers
259. You can clearly tell when people write their own Wikipedia pages and vandalize others for self-promotion
260. Mix symbolic colors, over-educated prose, and unfulfilled emotions, and you have a recipe for excellent fanfiction
261. ☆ Who needs phonics when nobody needs to speak to each other anymore?
262. Nursing homes are no longer where exasperated adults dump their parents; they are places of love and warmth before patients get wrapped in bandages and get sent to the afterlife
263. ☆ The great thing about English is that you don't need to fully understand it or even be coherent to post on the Internet
264. You should exercise caution if you are an old, crusty man, and a 22-year-old bombshell is suddenly interested in you
265. ☆ I once ate 9 slices of pizza at an event about how to handle your stress
266. A goal is to age as slowly as possible to continue to work when I'm 80 if Social Security reduces
267. When bananas grow spots like a leopard, it's time to eat
268. The problem is, Democrats and Republicans both have some good ideas
269. If fake Russian accounts can get millions of likes, why can't I?
270. You should scale down your Twitter to a 5th grade reading level
271. When you wonder, who am I, look no further than your walls and boundaries, your decorum and pretensions
272. You've never known empathy until you've roleplayed as a character
273. I'm so stable that I need to tell Twitter about it
274. If you think that this is nonsensical, satirical Twitterature, then you are sorely mistaken
275. Testing artificial intelligence to make my tweets so I can go on vacation
276. Wondering if I'm trapped in a screen as a zoo animal, and all these people keep poking and staring at me
277. How can I write good fiction without being a total nerd?
278. How can I write well without having to devote much time or effort to it?
279. I would gladly switch places with a zoo animal
280. It's amazing how red, horn-rimmed glasses with jewels can dramatically change your look
281. Somebody needs to make a romance book with humans, animals, furries, aliens, and robots in the same universe. Fine, I'll do it
282. Become a professor if only you didn't have to get a PhD, not work full-time for that many years, study, or have to read anything that's not fanfiction
283. I am honored to sit in the dining hall and wonder, had someone great or constipated sat here before?
284. We all know people say that their house is a farm to hide that it's actually a mansion
285. ★ They were in public service? You mean private destruction.
286. 50 Shades of Gray is proof that fanfiction can be good
287. It's better that you don't know me in real life
288. I groaned as my iPhone 55S froze up; they were on the 58th run
289. If you string together all of my tweets, it forms a coherent story
290. No social media is complete without something involving Starbucks and a quote by Rumi
291. The unmasking of Horse_ebooks was like the outrage when Milli Vanilli was discovered to be fake, but we will all regret this 20 years later
292. Our excessive demands for authenticity from something free killed it
293. People online will not be pleased when they find out that I am a human being
294. It is often those that you least expect to become successful who do, and those you most expect to burn up in flames
295. I know that I'm important when I'm invited to a virtual event (written before COVID)
296. Going on the Boston subway ensures that you are not the only man with a purse
297. Let that be a warning to all Twitter users
298. We all know champagne tries to be fancy but is worth $4 at Trader Joe's
299. ☆ People love comedy because they're so miserable
300. Just because a man is pretty and effeminate, does not mean that he is gay
301. ☆ I like to keep my body clean through showers to show that I am a dignified person
302. Due to my past anxiety and poor social skills, I did not get along well with professors, students, or people outside of my school
303. I would also pay for someone to say hi to me
304. I see people doing homework on the subway, and I think, good for you
305. Before getting married, you have to meet their online avatar
306. Sometimes, my online avatar has a mind of her own and disrespects me
307. I like to be seen in cheap, oily restaurants with food poisoning to keep my standing in society
308. I can't tell if I control my online avatar, or if she controls me
309. Why do rich White people love drinking so much?
310. Many people were dirty, filthy rich, but I was just filthy. Nice and smart people though
311. ★ I can't tell if people control the government, or if the government controls the people
312. Don't make the mistake of calling the people in Congress people; they are either leeches or reptiles
313. If I get a tumor, at least you'll have this Twitter to remember me by
314. I thought that a lot of tattoos signified that you were upper class, at least in the entertainment industry
315. ★ I went to a farm, and it had more horse crap than a political candidate
316. Living here for so many years has taught me a lot of self-defense
317. How come when you go to some shady websites, you get more advertisements than Times Square?
318. You can't know somebody's gender for sure until they're dead
319. Too bad a color graphing calculator that can connect to the Internet is no longer a status symbol after high school
320. I sometimes get whole body pain and exhaustion after taking a walk
321. If reading can solve everything, why aren't you rich?
322. 2 MIT graduates invented something marginally useful and want you to buy it
323. I don't get out of bed unless I can make $15
324. At this rate I should have significant facial hair and finish puberty when I'm 35
325. I wish I could move to Mesquite, Texas
326. Take them in the order that they are written, and use a random number generator
327. ☆ I could just pretend to be a normal person, but where's the joy in that?
328. Wall Street deals with bulls and bears, but I think of it as interspecies
329. People whose names begin with X are pretty reliable
330. I gaze and put my hands on the barrier separating the prestigious people and sigh while I serve them hor'deouvres
331. Always watching what I say to stay within the lines
332. I turn off most of the "news" because there is nothing new, and nothing that will be satisfying
333. ★ When our world is run by fancy and prestigious reptiles, you know that the policies will be cold-blooded
334. People only believe things if they are in book form
335. Changing people's beliefs on Twitter is like getting a waterfall to go up
336. "No," the algorithm sobbed. "I'm not a spam bot. I'm a real human!"
337. ☆ Do I control my thoughts, or do they control me?
338. If people got rid of all of their false beliefs, they wouldn't be the same person
339. I'm such a nice guy, and this is how you repay me?
340. Enveloping despair, engulfing conflict, engrossing darkness, half-hearted authenticity, strangers laughing, and the majority who do not know or care
341. You can't expect too much from anybody
342. A factory like a dam, turbines chugging relentlessly, its mechanical clockwork that invites work to be done under a dull droning
343. A reason that people are more sympathetic to cute animals than their own kind is because dogs are not competition
344. Are reading romance novels during marriage a form of cheating?
345. Is my skin going to be nice or evil to me today?
346. I'm determined not to be the weirdest one
347. Any successful businesspeople who want to adopt me?
348. The great thing about college is that you can come out as a normal person
349. Writing distills what we discover about the world, which I distill back into tweets
350. ☆ The Daily Mail makes the UK look like the weird version of America
351. If only men were not so h0rny
352. It's amazing how lasers can both blind people and correct their eyesight
353. I thought that it was only full of mature, professional people until I saw some engravings in the bathroom walls
354. I would much rather be popular on the Internet than in real life
355. Some people on the Internet really scare me
356. To protest against oil companies, let's stop driving and start teleporting to our offices 30 miles away
357. People are chopping down the rainforest to publish magazines and several versions of textbooks to tell us to save the rainforest
358. Their vision without glasses is like 0.3 megapixels
359. I like to make my photos blurry and mysterious to show that I am as digital as I am real
360. I like to make myself look like I stepped out of a magazine, like the National Geographic animal special
361. How do you know whether or not I am a real person?
362. It's a good thing that nobody cares about Z-list writers so I can go to Walmart in peace
363. A great thing about being poor is that nobody cares about or bothers you
364. We're so cheap that, for my birthday, we do something that we were already going to do like go to the supermarket
365. Imagine if you had a rhinoplasty and allergies, and your nose blows off
366. Feeling blissful, but my tweets are only good when I'm mentally unstable
367. Filled with lots of incoherent rambling, confused thoughts, suppressed sexuality, solipsistic soliloquys, divisive diatribes, chimerical conjectures, and fanatical fancifications...
368. Who needs to swim with dolphins when you can just swim with disappointing humans?
369. When I'm 30, fat, and bald, I'll be like oh well at least I tried
370. Imagine, hordes of angry plebeians with no more faith in corrupt institutions
371. Preparing invitations for very unimportant people
372. Show me a politician who is entirely honest, and I'll give you a digital necklace
373. Never forget that Newton spent more time studying alchemy than physics because he wanted to live like a rapper
374. You think that each tweet is unique and special until you realize that there are hundreds of them
375. Do people's Internet searches reveal their truest and darkest selves?
376. No first-class city is complete without lots of bums, overpriced new "luxury" real estate, and spoiled people doing "the arts"
377. It turns out fake lawyer is a real scam, can you not know or figure out?
378. Dark chocolate: the alluring void of nihilism, bitter and sweet existence, and the ability to melt and transform from a mold
379. People's short lifespans 200 years ago is clearly due to the lack of television and entertainment
380. Dark Chocolate Prosciutto: I Didn't Choose to Be Delicious
381. Back in my day, they were called flame wars
382. I don't get what I wrote sometimes
383. Why would anyone waste time watching long, 30-minute vlogs about other people's better-looking lives? Come read my short tweets instead
384. I may be biased, but I contend that blogs are much better than vlogs. Both are full of trash, but at least you can read a blog in 3 minutes
385. Social media may be time-consuming and add additional risky complexity to manage
386. Thanks for reading! *crickets* (0 followers)
387. Make sure to thank your local friendly multinational for using cheap overseas labor to support our fat lifestyles
388. If there were a murder, and you wonder who did it when you see fingerprints smeared with prosciutto fat and dark chocolate
389. Do homosexuals get h0rny from looking at their own organs?
390. ★ Politicians are like gold diggers; they get you to like them a lot until you find out that they are only after your money
391. Sometimes, we don't know if we're creative, or if we're just following a template well
392. Time privilege
393. Is effortless the new effort-taking trend?
394. Is almost everything attainable nowadays?
395. With art, everyone can see it, but not everyone can understand it
396. Prose is for real life, but poetry is for the unreal
397. ☆ Who is a person if you lobotomize their experiences?
398. Why do we need political analysts when celebrities can just tell us who to vote for?
399. They invented s3x as a terrible form of "brain control"
400. You can't discriminate against my religion
401. ☆ It's all digital anyways
402. If the witches of Salem are so powerful, why couldn't they protect their own city from industrial base erosion?
403. No taboo subject is safe on my Twitter except Nicole Richie
404. I come to a city with a suitcase of dreams, only to get it stolen in an armed robbery
405. The famous mouthpiece will support anyone as long as they get paid
406. Some people ditch their prestigious job to become a mukbang creator
407. I once worked under corpo slavedrivers, when I learned that there are people smarter and harder working than me
408. Teenagers fighting outside remind me of the elderly years
409. The Grecian dream of having 20 togas, a fast chariot, and a gigantic clay house with marble statues of everything
410. Need tombstone translated to alien and ancient Egyptian in case history repeats itself
411. P0- has existed for thousands of years, but now some places want to ban it?
412. You don't have to be a good writer, only a popular one
413. People blame others because it is comforting
414. Watching TED Talks is a race between falling asleep and figuring out which part is useful
415. No matter how many millions of words are written, it will be difficult to write something better than Sylvia Plath's "Daddy"; very insightful into the forever mystery of Sylvia Plath.
416. Many workers have to exchange a lot of misery and hard work just to make some money
417. Went to a medieval fair once, and it was everything that I hoped for: men ramming giant sticks into each other, a rigid caste system, several serfs, and a bubonic plague outbreak
418. I am an example of why you shouldn't get educated
419. On the Internet, you can always find someone who agrees with your opinion
420. Everywhere smells like w33d now
421. It's amazing how default Pusheen stickers can cover the entire spectrum of human emotion
422. By stock "investor" you mean wild gambler
423. You thought that only Russian clickfarms understood American popular culture
424. Nobody takes them seriously despite how good they are
425. Striving to be a voice of the disenchanted and p!ssed off people since 2018
426. Celebrities are people we all know, but who don't know you
427. Use a private list to avoid revealing support for the Whig party and hippo conservation
428. There's nothing that I love more than getting a $5 royalty check
429. It's hard to maintain my extremely low status in society
430. I can solve a Rubik's cube as easily as the Israel-Palestine conflict
431. ☆ If you think writing is easy, try writing something that won't make someone want to throw a chair at you
432. Reddit basically monopolized Internet forums
433. Thank goodness that we got out of the old days of keyword spam
434. More afraid of silence than noise
435. You are not educated by the number of books that you read, but by the amount of bling-bling that you have
436. Whoever combined food and trucks is a genius in the way that Andy Warhol is
437. ☆ What are friends for besides to use them as social media slaves?
438. One of the best novels written in the alien language
439. When preteens start doing it, it's time to move on
440. Write a shield of words to defend yourself
441. Considered "Funniest Twitter" by 2 family and friends
442. Nominated for most likely to be attacked by an octopus
443. Never have I thought that both liberals and the far right would hate the Koch brothers
444. ☆ I respect my elders, but do they respect me?
445. Can you imagine the h3ll of life before calculators?
446. Waiting for the one name at graduation is like waiting for the one luggage at the airport or the one song I know on the radio
447. So many flowers that I can't tell if this is a graduation or a funeral, but both are similar
448. The words just come to me like birds that want to poop
449. You know it's bad business when it's identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center
450. Really don't want my work to be discovered after I'm dead like a rotting cadaver or what's underneath my sofa
451. Wouldn't mind being the Thomas Kinkade of writing. If you like my writing, then I have bad news for you
452. I can only claim to a parapsychologist and an unlicensed dermatologist
453. One day my tarot cards told me to get a life
454. It's these pearls of today that we remember, all blissful and glossy
455. Awarded "Most Likely to Achieve an Award" Award
456. Would gladly trade all my useless writing abilities to be a basketball star
457. My brain has taken a vacation from which it has never returned
458. Like magma, sometimes you need to get out and cool off
459. Our cat sometimes meows annoyingly and relentlessly; if only he could convert that meowing to Broadway musical numbers
460. ★ About to exercise my right to complain about the corrupt political system, even though doing so changes almost nothing
461. Usually more afraid of what I can control than what I can't
462. I asked them to help make me rich and beautiful, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
463. If you retweet but don't endorse it, then why did you retweet it in the first place?
464. ★ Looking to vote for politicians who will most help advance my self-interest
465. Trying to brainwash my Twitter followers with my agenda
466. ☆ This is the biggest waste of time and money I have ever seen, and I've watched the Olympics
467. You can have more anti-aging plastic surgery, but you can't have more time
468. Time is the one indecipherable fluctuation yet constant in life, and we must be aware of its flow, and its ability to break and rob.
469. ☆ The universal bind of time rusts all under its amazing gravity.
470. We can't have a world without time. The amazing power of time controls all. Time will break the heart and soul of everyone. There is nothing more sinister than time.
471. Sad to think how many of Cher's fans are already dead
472. He's a singer from Canada with luscious, floppy hair and turns women and some men into screaming girls. I'm talking about Nickelback
473. We need more B-list celebrities to keep us entertained
474. I've watched Justin Bieber grow up and become even more mature than me
475. Sometimes I can't tell whether I'm reading Cher or dril Twitter
476. Banned from my own Twitter
477. The rich use French words like "bourgeousie" and not English ones like "successful rappers"
478. Mark your calendars, because we're getting closer and closer to Armageddon
479. One good thing about Armageddon is that I can finally be equal to billionaire
480. If I could cure hair loss, I wouldn't be on Twitter now
481. Once upon a time, there was a place that was so bad that it didn't even deserve a name
482. Using Twitter is like being on an endless writing treadmill
483. Hi there! Goodbye.
484. Wondering what I will find in the wasteland today
485. If there is "weird" Twitter, who is to say what's normal?
486. Violating the norms and decency of society, one pizza slice crust and fork at a time
487. The rise of acceptance of eating pizza with a fork mirrors the moral decay of society
488. If you think most modern pop music today is pretty bad, wait until later
489. M&Ms show that people, even with different skin colors like blue and yellow, are the same on the inside. Except that the green one is s3xy, and the red one is smart
490. My train of thought crashed and burned in flames a long time ago
491. The world is drowning in garbage that we can't get rid of like heavily autotuned music
492. I can't pass a Captcha test let alone the Turing test
493. Does anyone remember back then, when you had to fill out an important form, and then illegible Captchas showed up?
494. I would be shocked if Captchas can stop most cyber crime
495. ☆ The people who are most afraid of becoming "cucks" are probably already one
496. A pharmacist who falls for the placebo effect
497. I would like to thank food, for providing me entertainment, and popular music, for providing an angel's voice in trying times
498. ★ I would like to thank Washington, D.C., for making sure to collect every penny, and that it is spent wisely.
499. Who wishes they could check who actually bothers to show up to your funeral?
500. Dermatology is for when you're alive, taxidermy is for when you're dead
501. The wasteland of my mind, full of trashed ideas, memory VHS tapes, and plastic bags filled with cobwebs and decay
502. Another day in my tragicomedy
503. My manager once said, "I used to live in that neighborhood. It's pretty bad."
504. The Angel Wears Walmart
505. No amount of plastic surgery can fix your soul
506. The American supermarket is like a giant farm because it lures people to eat cheap junk food that fattens them
507. In that really long French book, the reason why the episode with the madeleine near the beginning is the most famous is because no one could read any farther
508. I like Amy Tan, but I don't understand why she's giving a TED Talk on creativity when almost all of her books are about Chinese mother-daughter relationships
509. The fruit is on the bottom just like the best years of my life
510. Renowned fake news presenter
511. Flattening of belly, flattening of society, flattening of democracy, flattening of yield curve... What isn't flattening nowadays?
512. Should narrate my life in my mind like a documentary to see how much of an animal I am
513. I will make fun of both sides as long as they do something stupid
514. When you ask someone, "Can you tell me what song this is duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh," and they get it right
515. Time to go back to the slot machine that is occasionally good Twitter posts. That is like a giant time casino where we're all losers, unless we actually get something of value from it.
516. Mania roulette of life
517. With the advent of cheap lab diamonds that are like the real thing, we can now deck everything out in bling. Waiting for the advent of lab humans like Blade Runner
518. I'll leave the political ranting to the celebrities
519. The sad thing about rats and other pests is that they also have families to feed
520. Everybody is working on his or her own story
521. Why did the ouija board cross the road? To get to the spirit side
522. I asked an ouija board if I'm going to be successful, and it said "you're going to h3ll"
523. My long list of tweets actually have a deeper meaning hidden inside
524. You shouldn't read too little or too much
525. When is creation futile?
526. Trump should win a Nobel Prize for choosing not to start World War 3 from Twitter, as tempting as it is
527. At least when we have Armageddon, all of the time we wasted on YouTube and Twitter will be wiped off
528. Why are you reading this and not becoming a millionaire?
529. More worried when the alphabet soup actually makes sense
530. "Soul" is an art term so we're not just a walking mass of organic chemistry
531. How come I don't know about the other millions of people?
532. Let's be real and not pretend that we understand some people's poetry
533. It's nice to know that the world is getting better and better with each passing day
534. If there's no good news, just make some up
535. Lecture on finding your own voice when everybody is louder and more influential than you
536. Annoyed by the rich, literary clique world and weird, talented writers of which I stray way from
537. I like that exaggerated poetry style of reading that makes me think, "Wow, so deep!"
538. More sophisticated and with more complications than a luxury watch that can tell you when the apocalypse is going to come
539. Need a watch to tell me when I'm going to die, so I can speed up the tweets
540. Are people too drunk to pay attention at a poetry reading?
541. Wondering why some people who weigh 300 pounds don't get cancer. while those who measure as "healthy" do. Figuring it out can crack the epigenetic code
542. Hidden in the reams of our genes is bad fanfiction. Genetic code vs. computer code
543. ☆ I saw a monkey at the zoo pleasuring himself, and I lie and say, "There's no way that I could have evolved from that!"
544. Accidentally gave a gang member the handshake of homosexuality
545. I told them that our cat is useless after seeing a mouse in the bathroom, and they said no you are
546. Told someone to help me take out the garbage, and they said yes, starting with you
547. My genes are telling me not to reproduce
548. Wondering if I birth a demon spawn is because I didn't pray enough
549. The results of my asexual reproduction are not as planned
550. Groans as after the jazz performance they say, "There will be a pop quiz"
551. Someone should write a new symphony "inspired by social media"
552. Beware a man with a small brain but large thoughts
553. Worried if my Twitter factory is contributing to global warming
554. People who can be both nerd and jock go to Ivy Leagues
555. The Ivy League and Twitter are both corrupt class replication systems
556. Worried if my breathing is contributing to global warming
557. Episodic tweets contain a mountain of ideas in 140 characters
558. If I had known about the new 280 character limit, I wouldn't have stopped my incredible fanfic
559. If I somehow have a kid who is even less successful than me, which is a very easy barrier to cross, I'll be like, "No!!!"
560. Implanted memories, implanted laughter, implanted breasts, implanted babies
561. My skin is rebelling against me like moody teenagers or colonists who couldn't get access to cheap tea
562. Boston drivers really are bad; one almost rammed into us in a turnabout, and they honk incessantly. Beware of turnabouts, 4-ways, and roads
563. Ride in a narrow Boston bike lane if you want to flirt with death
564. Driving should be orderly like linear algebra unless you're in Boston, in which it is a random gas
565. Why do so many unpopular journalists have blue checkmarks when so many deep Internet treasures like dril do not?
566. Writing on a graduation cap, "Don't hit my head, it's the only thing of value that I have left"
567. How can I become like Oprah without having to talk to people?
568. More afraid of an inappropriate emotional response than lack of reponse
569. The reception to this Twitter account has been lukewarm at best
570. There can be male witches and female wizards
571. Salem, MA, "What's up, witches?"
572. Whoever breaks the fourth wall needs to know that it is coming out of the security deposit
573. Faker than a successful politician's marriage
574. Wonder if teaching people critical thinking removes critical thinking
575. Good thing nobody goes to malls anymore
576. Most literary criticism has contributed even less to society than Wall Street bankers
577. A literary book with dozens of perspectives on the color blue, and not a single mention of dabohdeedaboda
578. Old YouTube birthed things that shouldn't have been born like Crazy Frog and Gummy Bear
579. Is there anything online that is authentic?
580. Patenting the annoying hipster "we are different, clean, and healthy" model that made Patagonia, Lululemon, Apple, and SweetGreen so rich
581. Sometimes education can create a monster
582. Wondering what personalized mass production emails I will find in my inbox today
583. Every major social issue except the Beckhams covered on my Twitter
584. I am an alternative alternative news source
585. Never forget that Maury Povich used to be a distinguished journalist and Jerry Springer a lawyer and politician until they found their true callings
586. I loved watching The Maury Show and Jerry Springer because they showed the best that humanity has to offer
587. Should give a TED Talk on how to create an unpopular Twitter
588. Setting up world headquarters on top of a pawn shop in the Midwest
589. I'm a prime candidate to be brainwashed by fake news
590. Defending fake news as free speech until I get involved in fake news
591. Like millions of people, Yahoo.com is my window to the world, said while sitting next to an actual window
592. Got into an argument with my TV. What have these screens ever done for me?
593. Useless media is more of a time sink than waiting at the RMV only to fail the exam
594. TV is the only legal sedative dr*g that everyone can use
595. Do you eat when you're bored? No, who does that! *Starts sweating nervously
596. Willing to join "the best religion"
597. If you do something without everyone on social media knowing, then at least do it to improve your chances of going to heaven
598. Self-checkout line is the next evolution in labor: slave labor, worker labor, robot labor, then consumer labor
599. Never has a Twitter said so much yet so little
600. ☆ The front camera has created so much narcissism
601. If there's one thing that the Maury Povich Show tells you, anything is possible
602. Taking a break from Twitter. Ok, I'm back
603. ★ The U.S. bipartisan foreign policy has been the same for decades: to bomb everything
604. Why do I need to go to Costco to buy "organic super seeds" when I can just make my own?
605. Wanted to be one of the best Twitter accounts in the history of humanity
606. Wanted to be one of those Asians who is secretly really good at Dance Dance Revolution, if only I could read arrows and had mind-body coordination
607. ☆ If you don't like it, don't read it!
608. Hillary Clinton warned about "echo chambers" like me singing in the shower and thinking that it's good
609. I don't have enough class to sit through 16 hours of the Ring Cycle opera and pretend that I know what they're saying, or that I don't want to touch myself
610. Both children and adults need to learn that not everything on the Internet is what it seems
611. Putting on my professional mask
612. I am a highly disrespected writer
613. We all know that life is all about luck, hence why I am tempted to spend my entire paycheck on lotto cards
614. Weird, s3xy thoughts, get out of my head!
615. I was even more creative back then until society roboticized me
616. The last thing we need is independent thought in these dangerous times
617. Who needs mysteries in the world when we have digital screens?
618. You never notice a shadow until you want to
619. We don't have enough absurdity in real life; absurdity is the only thing that keeps me sane
620. How much of a book is filler? I would much rather be in a book than a miserable life
621. Social media push notifications give us something pointless to do
622. If something accidentally sounds like plagiarism, consider that I wrote so much, and that millions have the same thoughts.
623. How come people back then used to dress fancy, but now people wear clothes with body parts that shouldn't be showing?
624. Light bulbs have done nothing good for insomnia
625. Not going to let peer pressure crush my writing style
626. You may know up to 1,000 people in your personal life, but one of the hardest parts as a writer is appealing to 100,000 people you don't know
627. I plant a variable reward addiction model in my tweets. You can't possibly write 1,000 good ones in a row, so you can decide which ones are.
628. It's not about writing what you want, but what people want
629. ☆ People whose art is acknowledged after they are dead don't seem to really care anymore
630. The following tweets will explain the meaning of life and existence. Wait, sorry, I spilled coffee on them
631. Proud to be a New York Times worst-selling and nonexistant author
632. Happy to be a voice in one of the most screwed generations
633. Wish my thoughts were like an endless ocean, but they are more like a polluted lake
634. The closest I can get to visiting another planet is visiting Buzzfeed
635. Infinity is a scary number
636. My tweets will be even more cringeworthy
637. Sometimes I wonder if it's a lot harder and takes more skill to write mass entertainment than obscure literary work
638. Remember when the Internet almost blew up over the color of a dress?
639. Need maximum amount of marinara marination at the marina with Marina
640. Why watch mindless reality TV when you can come read my mindless Twitter?
641. The infinite screens provide mindless stimulation like a swimming jellyfish
642. Curse Urban Dictionary because now I don't know when if a word I use is some new inappropriate slang
643. To those who think that the world isn't run by perverts, just look at the news
644. ☆ It doesn't matter whether or not something is true, only if it's believable
645. All this media bias from both sides makes me sick; at least they should try to make it less obvious
646. My stunning and controversial literary claim: almost everything written before 1900 is virtually unreadable today by the modern, low-attention span Internet user
647. I think my most original work is to make an entirely self-written Twitter that tries to instill a literary quality of observations in this new fast, digital, and disposable age.
648. One of the issues of creating is judging your own work. You have to let the crowd decide, not knowing how it will be received, and it's hard to get the crowd to even know that you exist.
649. Annoyed that you usually only hear from rich voices because they are the least afraid and have the least to lose from failure
650. We're eating Internet tonight because we always need to pay for that first
651. I saw a half-eaten Dominos' pizza outside sprawling with dozens of ants, and, I thought, is that how I'm going to end up when I die?
652. This isn't the first time they had an autobiography ghostwritten
653. I always wanted to have a voice in the media-industrial complex
654. If you're reading my Twitter, I've clearly done something right
655. The only thing that I want to go back in time is my face and body
656. I watch these videos, and I'm like, "Well, at least I don't have to do THAT for a living."
657. Nothing difficult was ever easy
658. In between the rude, crude world and the world of words
659. Holding a rose in my toga as I walk past the Twitter roads of spambots, selfie narcissists, nonexistant grammar, underage who shouldn't be here, and uncensored content
660. This isn't the first time that I embarassed myself in front of the owners of post-industrial society
661. People will always be angry and jealous of something
662. If it were that easy to get rich as spammers claim, there would be no suffering in the world
663. You don't even need to have good social skills
664. Buffets should tremble in fear when I walk in the door
665. Every food I eat lives in one of my fat cells as a forgotten memory
666. My American pasttime of drowning whatever concern I have in high-calorie, low-quality food
667. Too bad, better luck next lifetime
668. We are all going to die, so enjoy the ride
669. The thing about 100 people deciding what's best for America is that one group is always wrong, depending on your beliefs
670. ★ In politics, people can never get everything they want.
671. Writing is my child
672. There are famous people whom we all see, but I'm more fascinated with the millions of people whom we don't see
673. ☆ Can you live in a screen like a fish lives in a container?
674. If you make a mistake in life, don't worry, people usually only see the top 100 tweets
675. There's a 500 plus page book on global catastrophes, and I don't know which is more horrifying: that people bothered to write this, or that none of them are going to happen anytime soon
676. Thus joining the scrap heap of humanity
677. Unfortunately, some books are a waste of time to read
678. Person first, writing second
679. I hope that the world likes my writing
680. Need to take excursions to observe people and have new material for the Twitter factory
681. Colonialism was an attempt to turn the world into Walmart
682. Sometimes, it is frustrating when the ideas won't come out
683. It's the whispering that scares me more than yelling
684. Creativity hurts
685. Proudly a form of outsider art
686. Glad to continually, pointlessly improve
687. You can't stop your poison
688. Procrastination destroys from the inside
689. Is most social media staged?
690. You can be smart and only think
691. If you can apply seemingly useless knowledge and make it useful, you are creative
692. Reflections on society, both observing and being a part of it
693. If I improved somebody's life, then my writing isn't worthless
694. I hope to get a flood of ideas when there's a drought
695. Some are always looking for the sun, but others are always looking for the rain
696. ☆ A random mess: I wouldn't have it any other way
697. My heart is really bad with directions
698. Aphorism, or platitude?
699. ☆ Has technology both enhanced our lives and destroyed it?
700. The fast encroachment of technology into everything plain
701. Would much rather write for the heart than for angry critics
702. Critics can never be fully pleased
703. A writer can create and destroy a world that nobody sees
704. The great thing about Twitter is that you have to cut to the point
705. You can't live a life entirely through books
706. I have something to prove, if only for myself
707. With the Internet, everybody can talk, but no one is guaranteed to listen
708. Writing constantly changes and matures slowly
709. So much knowledge has never been so accessible to everyone
710. When they say that knowledge is powerful and dangerous, it is in the voting booths
711. It's what they don't tell you that is more interesting
712. Money becomes increasingly digital like our access to Kim Kardashian
713. If you think technology changed our lives a lot now, wait until later
714. Wondering what the next major social media network will be
715. Social media is a happy scam
716. Discovering more with science only leads to more questions
717. ☆ It's a pity that our lives are so short, but there's endless things to be discovered
718. Nobody can consume it all
719. There has never been a better form of social control than money
720. Time is a commodity that is worth differently to each
721. Torn between the serious and the ridiculous
722. It would be unethical for me to find a ghostwriter
723. Farm animals should be given mindless entertainment to numb the pain
724. Wondering how similar or different we are to farm animals
725. When you have a passionate hobby, you never have to experience the pain of boredom again
726. We can't know sanity without madness; sanity and madness are just a border away
727. Back then, they had to cull good quotes from reams of writing, but you can just cut to those with Twitter
728. Everything becomes cheap when there is too much
729. Our smartphones never stop shining for us
730. The next latest innovation in virtual reality after the television
731. Forget War of the Worlds, I get pretty scared when I turn on the radio now too
732. Somebody's screaming is somebody else's music
733. If you like needless peer pressure, then you'll love social media
734. You can arrange your Internet experience so you will never have to see a differing opinion again
735. ☆ "Good" and "food" are only 1 letter away
736. The worst part about cynics is when they're right
737. When you lol, do it with more meaning
738. ☆ The sun never sets in digital dystopia
739. Nothing profound to say today
740. Be more interested not in what the media tells you, but what it doesn't tell you
741. Writing is like raising a child: sometimes it makes you happy, but sometimes it is a chore
742. Decided to turn my midnight ramblings into a Twitter
743. Some tweets come from a reservoir of things I've written years ago. You really don't know where the water comes from, and you really don't want to know
744. The sprawling expanse of creativity is like a beautiful, sunny wheat field
745. Rural dreams for a city person, city dreams for a rural person
746. The military is a far better science fiction writer, with the UFOs, nuclear bombs, sonic attacks, and bio control schemes
747. Hidden meanings abound for you to figure out
748. I like the snapshot, disposable nature of Twitter so I can continue to dump tweets
749. Trying to incorporate my old writing is like getting exes together again
750. It's far worse to have nothing left to say than useless things, at least in my opinion
751. Nothing causes more fear than nothing
752. It's these small, happy occurrences that we keep living for
753. If you think that you're going to die soon, you might do something differently
754. I want to believe, but something is stopping me
755. There are differences between offensive and controversial
756. Sometimes it's much easier to create than destroy
757. The unpredictability can fool all
758. There's so much that you can do, but not enough time
759. ★ Never have I seen somebody more happy to pretend to do something for me than a politician
760. Wondering if I already wrote about everything
761. To go viral means that your friend's friend's friend's friend's friends know about it
762. The towelettes at the gym are meant for germaphobes who think that wiping something makes a difference
763. Too tired to keep writing useless trash for today
764. If you're looking for trash, you've come to the right place
765. Why do we assume that just because something contains furries, it won't be profound?
766. Fantasy allows us to escape the drab and flabby confines of our lives
767. One day there's going to be an impending nuclear bomb, and the government tells me, "We need you to keep writing your Twitter"
768. The circles don't draw themselves on wheat fields
769. The appeal of aliens is that they show us a far better lifestyle than just watching TV after work
770. This art is fine, but that art...
771. Art is a mystery
772. Screens kill us slowly but in a very entertaining way
773. Asking TV stations for a refund of my lost time
774. I wish that all the cows, chickens, fish, ducks, and McDonald's I ate don't come back to haunt me
775. Entertainment is escapism
776. My net worth includes a chicken nugget, but you only laughed when I offered it to you
777. The Internet is an addiction that everybody is allowed to have
778. Can I use my Twitter account as collateral?
779. Never has there ever been something as useless and influential as social media
780. If only sins weren't so fun
781. The futility of vanity
782. If people from the Middle Ages could see how much spice there was for $1, they would have a heart attack
783. Getting straight A's is like getting a royal flush
784. At least do it for the cultural and social snobbery
785. I only have you, fortunately/unfortunately
786. People can adapt to anything
787. Sometimes it's better not to think, but to forget
788. The diabolical digital dimension dystopia
789. Is it all pointless in the end?
790. Why did they stop field trips to jail?
791. Narrow margins of hope remain
792. The first trillionaire will be after hyperinflation
793. It's the painful process of rewriting that takes the most time
794. I think I'm starting to run out of material to write about this many tweets in
795. Considering the things that they said about each other, the impending meeting should start more awkwardly than meeting an ex
796. I think that many people don't read books as often; it's too mentally taxing and requires a lot of time. Your story must be extremely entertaining to compete with other comfortable entertainment.
797. Will tech giants ever stop redesigning their stuff?
798. They never showed any emotional response to me
799. Doing all this soul-searching via Ctrl+F
800. The problem with all these speeches is that people talk about great things, but does anything actually happen?
801. My writing is a mess, but I don't care
802. My spreadsheet went through dozens of revisions like my life
803. Tell any egghead academic that it's a lot harder to become popular
804. Wondering if I had an ask column, if I would accidentally give the worst advice possible
805. Works of human imagination and genius
806. I have no idea how some writers manage to tap into the mind of teenagers
807. Everything in life is a trade
808. Try to achieve something notable when you're young because of society's "youth fetish"
809. I'm so happy when I get a good night's sleep for once
810. In 300 years, will Justin Bieber's "Baby" be considered classic music?
811. We live in a society where whoever is most corrupt, wins
812. I have preconceptions about New York based on every joke about it
813. Hypocrisy is among one of the first things that people want to point out
814. Everybody has his or her own forms of craziness
815. The pursuit of everything left them with nothing
816. A complex recipe on how to make frozen strawberries
817. Wondering where the mythical Costco "Kirkland" is
818. There are too many cute slippers and not enough space or money
819. ☆ Many people are wrapped in obscure personal dramas
820. Anything is possible if you have lots of money
821. Everybody can be a gambler in some ways
822. If people are given a chance to be corrupt, most probably will be
823. We always hear stories of tremendous people, but not average ones
824. There are some really good artists who aren't good with self-promotion
825. A restaurant called tilapia "jungle fish" to be more exotic
826. "There's too much for me to enjoy in life," I say as I watch a stupid TV show
827. People are normally kind and generous, but due to the Internet, they have become a lot angrier
828. If you don't want the public reading it, don't publish it
829. No books are perfect
830. The only way to escape h3ll is leaving or daydreaming
831. A nutcase who tells the truth
832. What the heck am I doing with my life?
833. Rewatching several old seasons and watching it turn from mindful entertainment to mindless
834. Don't make your life full of regrets from misanthropy
835. ☆ Life sucks for most people, but good thing that we're not most people
836. Invent a language with no one proficient in it
837. The great thing about Meghan Markle is that every American has a chance of becoming British royalty now
838. Nobody asked for my writing, but I'm giving it anyways
839. Animals at the zoo can see me manically typing in this small handheld box like an insane baboon
840. The addiction electrons are firing off in my head
841. Many did not survive the great Twitter Flame War
842. You know those glitter and sparkle transformations where the person spins around, and it is the same person?
843. There are some songs and raps where they speak English, but I still don't know what they're saying
844. Stuck in a mud puddle, and the gas pedal doesn't do anything
845. Nothing brings everyone together like a broken Wi-Fi connection
846. The great thing about work is that you can drown your personal pains with capitalistic ones
847. It's so hard to succeed at something easy, such as writing
848. Rejected by the upper class, the lower class, and the middle class
849. It's easy to criticize everyone but yourself
850. Something that sucks about big, overpriced cities is that every restaurant menu item is over 2 digits
851. Good thing that I don't have to dumb down my material further because what I make is already dumb enough
852. Those who think that poor people are simple and happy, have no idea what they're talking about
853. When politics became a lucrative career, all h3ll broke loose
854. Any industry where the top people make over $1,000,000 a year is probably extremely corrupt
855. Need more sensationalistic news stories
856. Thinking got me into this mess, I'm sure that it will get me out
857. My memory foam pillow turned into a dementia foam pillow
858. Some people are concerned when a hardened criminal runs a red traffic light. Do these look like people who care about the law?
859. Those who run the media think people believe anything that they're told
860. ★ Unfortunately, we have reached a situation where it is dangerous to have any political view
861. There are too many Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon cards
862. Trying not to step on partisan eggshells
863. If somebody wants to debate some hot button political issue with you, run
864. Free writing is one of the few free things nobody wants
865. Compared to the inflexible serfs-nobles system, at least people now have a chance of becoming rich now no matter how slim
866. ☆ Like most people on New Year, we learned valuable lessons only to forget about it after 2 weeks
867. Millenials: just the word makes people angry
868. Only in America are there hard-working billionaires and lazy people who weigh 300 pounds
869. ★ Much of Washington, D.C., has became "ask not what you can do for your country, but yourself"
870. Back in the day, having 100 selfies was weird, now it is normal
871. Will voting ever be digitized?
872. They turned from a gold digger to a coal digger
873. Why does it seem like everything is the 3rd leading cause of death?
874. Between big pharma, Wall Street, big politics, and towing companies, is there anything that Main Street Americans can trust anymore?
875. Many health professionals tout the benefits of a whole foods, plant-based diet. Maybe everybody would do it if it tasted better
876. Eat all your favorite unhealthy junk food before you suddenly die from a leading cause of death
877. Unfortunately, people find it hard to believe addictions caused by their own hand
878. People are often not interested in their own lives, but in other people's
879. Lazy, affluent suburban teenagers
880. If the DailyMail won "countless awards for outstanding news reporting," then anything is possible
881. People think that my tweets are categorized as comedy, but they are deadly serious
882. A Nobel Peace Prize for North Korea is just like the Keynesian window; they endanger everybody, then fix what they caused themselves
883. Whoever this God is, how can I get their number?
884. One of the easiest things to criticize is other people's bad spending habits
885. Don't you hate getting woken up at 2 AM because the person with the crappiest car has the loudest alarm?
886. In order for any antiaging artifact to sell millions, all it needs to prove is that "Madonna uses it"
887. Don't you enjoy when a YouTube video has valuable information, but it is buried somewhere in 22 minutes?
888. You know when somebody sits really close to you on the subway because they are craving human contact?
889. 1,000 hours and $0 later, I declare my joint venture a complete success
890. I like those people who are always happy for no reason
891. I learned that it doesn't matter at the end of the day
892. When people tell me I'm funny, that's just me acting normal in public
893. Everyday I'm happy to wake up because I didn't die in my sleep
894. It's great that Chinese calligraphy, a thousands year old tradition, lives on in people's @ss tattoos
895. One day my only highlight was a person in a teal furry suit waving at me
896. Claiming that other people are lazy while I sit here working on my Twitter
897. Political polls are about as accurate as this Twitter feed
898. There was as much frenzy as when there was a pregnant nun
899. I have seen the power of the Internet to turn a $99 HKD foot massage proprietor into an Internet star.
900. I have this fake image I have to uphold
901. I'm always under development like those Boston roads that show no sign of improving
902. Playing a Titanic item find game that features an iPad
903. We were so poor, we had to go to the library to use the Internet and read Reader's Digest
904. Surprised that many magazines are majority advertisements now. Why would you pay for an advertisement?
905. Excuse me, this soup is eating my rat
906. ☆ I don't get how people claim that they're so busy yet have the time to watch 150 episodes of something on Netflix
907. You can prevent aging with just 300 easy steps
908. People need to understand that the media industries are all or nothing "superstar effect," either you make almost nothing or make almost everything
909. In the infamous Tyra Banks yelling scene, the model missed the memo that this is not a joke; this is UPN's America's Next Top Model
910. I knew I should have avoided Libra people today
911. Everybody loves a good success story just like everybody loves a good failure story
912. On the Internet frontier, it's viral or nothing
913. My goofy attempts to reinvent myself as a jock only led to jock itch
914. I don't wear glasses to be s3xy, I need them to see
915. Let's be real, how many of us were so close to giving up on our acne that we almost tried "urine therapy"
916. ☆ America is a rich, wonderful country where more people die of eating too much than eating too little
917. I get why people hate being called spicy because I hate being called salty or sweet and sour
918. Real estate is one of the few industries where many of the rich landlords drive used pick-up trucks and look more like somebody from Duck Dynasty
919. We need to turn every concept into a triangle to make it easier to understand
920. Eating is one of the few easy and non-illegal ways to feel good
921. After work, I go to my room to eat peanut butter alone
922. Google Maps asked if I wanted to check if my commute is bad. It's a crowded, sweaty, and ancient subway that you have to wait for the 3rd one to get on rush hour.
923. You need elite scientists to tell you open office floor plans are bad?
924. Insert cheesy feel-good story here
925. ★ Everybody wants to tax the rich until they become one
926. Why is there such a large multi-billion beauty industry, but no differential calculus industry? Shows what people truly value
927. What has happened to the children?
928. What happened to buying full page ads in the newspaper to rant about something?
929. They are a victim of their terrible life choices
930. Just do what you're supposed to and be like everybody else
931. ☆ Why does life seem like an endless barrage of indignities?
932. They've been throwing around the word "grassroots" so much that even a billionaire paying a lot of people can be grassroots
933. Does the lottery raise money for education, to teach them not to play the lottery?
934. Flat Earth shows something far more sinister in society, that anyone can believe anything well-written enough on the Internet
935. "Walking in Memphis" is one of the most grocery store songs ever
936. How many times have you had to watch Chipmunks versions of songs on YouTube to avoid copyright?
937. The cheap local Chinese buffet is a high-class establishment
938. I do in a day what most people do in half a day
939. You know, it is never possible to please the spouse
940. Internet: You are a member of the medical establishment. You only know how to repeat things for tests. You don't know how to THINK FOR YOURSELF (essential oils)
941. If pseudoscience makes people happy, why bother them?
942. Everybody has that one 300-pound friend who does neo-Gothic burlesque, and I'm like, good for them (all gender)
943. You don't go to business school to think out of the box, you go to business school to get a job
944. Does anybody else use their graduation gown as a rain poncho?
945. When you're holding down a job, everything that you post online has to be PG-rated
946. One day climate change vegans are going to take over the world
947. I don't care what people say, $10 is a lot of money
948. Every day is a good day for dark comedy and dark chocolate
949. Just like everybody has a chance of winning the lottery, everybody has a chance of becoming Internet famous
950. I know that dinner is going to be good when everything is 50% off Manager's Special
951. For work, you have to be the mythical "FILO" - first in, last out
952. I don't know, do you think that I know English?
953. I'm tired of thinking and want to be vain and stupid
954. I can't afford a Ferrari, but I can afford 10 boxes of Ferraro Rocher, which almost feels the same
955. My cooking skill improved to sliced tomatoes and presliced mozarella
956. Time to max out my $200 credit limit with $9 fast fashion clothes
957. $4 coffee or save for the future? The answer is clear: $4 coffee
958. If only work were as easy as those middle school science Magic School Bus quizzes
959. Downtown Boston traffic: walk = walk, don't walk = walk, pedestrians = Grand Theft Auto, no turn on red = turn on red, red light = go
960. I feel as scared as somebody riding a 2-person Smart car on a highway at top speed during rush hour
961. If I don't have a job, how can I afford my luxury camel milk?
962. People will believe anything
963. Can they not tell that they are an extremely important unemployed person?
964. Time to spend a large portion of my paycheck on rapidly depreciating new Yu-gi-oh! cards
965. Not only is there almost no way for your children to repay back how much you spent, they're probably going to turn around and claim that you ab*sed them
966. The only place I feel comfortable shopping is the dollar store
967. I'm sitting on my @ss waiting for things to change
968. To the person whose car alarm won't stop going off at 12 AM, nobody wants your 1998 Saturn
969. When I went to school, we had a saying: if you don't do well, you are going to become a str!pper
970. Yeah, I'm the type of Millenial who spends $3,000 on avocado toast only to light it all on fire instead of paying Sallie Mae
971. Why would people make knockoffs of a cosmetic that costs $11?
972. I had a skin condition called "the mask of pregnancy"
973. Everyday I get saggier
974. The past is never too far away
975. I have always wanted to be a writer until I found out most make -$20 and came from rich
976. You're lucky I don't drink, so there are no drunk or crazy Tweets
977. They have no future... Anybody still want them?
978. I went to the seedy part of town to look at the fall foliage
979. I wish Al Gore would make another movie so he could buy another mansion, private jet, or yacht
980. Walking on the trail and resting on my favorite graffiti rock
981. I'm going to join an international protest just because there is a protest
982. Why I feel tired at work? Why my skin reacting? Why my bank account dwindling? 2 words: climate change.
983. When the estimated completion time is 10 minutes, and then it takes 2 hours
984. You're rich if you pay money to go to school, besides college
985. ☆ Why does it seem like the #1 job skill to work in HR is know how to lie?
986. How come anything with the word "freedom" in it probably isn't?
987. I told them sorry, rich and beautiful is not my type
988. Why do I see all these people barely out of college going on expensive trips, while I'm at home putting on acne medication?
989. Will Democrats and Republicans ever get along?
990. Is this happiness?
991. My journey to becoming a 30 year old bald fat cubicle worker begins today
992. My favorite exercise is walking to the grocery store
993. I hope that people don't fall and vote for another H!tler type candidate. Oh wait, they both are
994. Who still goes to the public library to read manga?
995. Never forget that wasting your time on Twitter is a human right
996. Is dermatology a science or pure voodoo?
997. Alcohol is bad for your skin, bad for your mind, bad for your judgment, just bad. Yes, I am a joy to be around
998. When you have kid neighbors who listen to those creepy YouTube nursery rhymes all day
999. This product is amazing! -random, questionably real person
1000. Ugh... WHY
1001. Time to heal with my Crystals
1002. I want to be a s3xy anime character
1003. I despise technology. Sent from Twitter
1004. They are skin privileged. They could eat 10 tubes of lung butter and not get a single acne, whereas I have to check daily for infected cyst
1005. How come when you ban something, people do it more?
1006. People want to be rich and comfortable without having to do the work.
1007. I work all day until my bones ache. The only thing that makes me slightly happier is seeing an attractive person on the train
1008. The public transportation is always late when you need it, and early when you don't
1009. How come some organizations have creepy names like Open Secrets and Chilling Effects?
1010. I went to Primark today so I can buy all of the Harry Potter crap
1011. I'm so poor that my coupon bounced
1012. A late-night infomercial diet where you can both eat and do whatever you want, and still lose weight?
1013. You just send your Cheeto dust thru the LAN, WAN, ethernet, and VPN instead of going outside
1014. This is such a joke like the IRS's Paperwork Reduction Act
1015. Don't mess with any man whose name begins with A-Z
1016. Hello, it's 2030, and I have a master's degree in celebrity trashy tabloids
1017. Why can't there be air conditioning outside?
1018. ☆ Most of our corporate policies are based on trust: the trust that nobody wants to get fired
1019. I refuse to go to a psychologist because I don't want to pay a doctor to tell me that I'm crazy
1020. I feel like somebody at a wealthy person's estate sale buying their Mickey Mouse memorabilia
1021. When they found out that they could make money off of you, the rest is history
1022. Everytime I get a negativity I want to shove my theoretical "foot" up their @ss
1023. I like to read Young Adult fiction to capture youth essence
1024. ☆ People should focus less on SKINCARE and more on BIBLE
1025. Others: Speak from your heart. Me: My arteries are clogged with 400 lb. double cheeseburger
1026. How come whatever happens to American teenagers in movies, never happened to me ever?
1027. Casual Friday is my excuse to dress like a h0
1028. Health, money, happiness: pick 0
1029. Only in America is a "healthy" salad defined by tons of ham, ranch, and cheese
1030. All I tell my future children is, you don't want to end up like me
1031. Asian parents be like all majors that are not STEM are not real, including my own
1032. I know how it's like to suffer. Every weekday I wake up is suffering.
1033. You have to go to college to learn how to communicate?
1034. ☆ How come every way to make extra money outside of working is disgusting?
1035. I'm from the inbred yokel side instead of the rich side
1036. I needed to work Labor Day to make sure other people can enjoy their lives
1037. "what have you accomplished towards your goals today?" "nothing" "ok"
1038. You know when there's an ugly dog, but a cute person?
1039. Why am I so much happier on Friday?
1040. Rich people's only job is to be pretty and enjoy their life
1041. Is there any way for me to lose weight without diet and exercise?
1042. In America, the real retirement age is over 100
1043. "I am in difficult times and can't afford it right now." -Sent from latest iPhone
1044. Back then, rich people were from merchant families. Today, they are from social media families.
1045. When did TAB become ABG?
1046. It's like you talking with a mentally ill tornado
1047. They send missionaries abroad for Mormon world domination
1048. Every morning when I take the T is zombie train movie
1049. I question formal education. Why do you need to pay $250k+ to learn something? Figure it out yourself
1050. Making poor choices is my specialty
1051. Have you ever wasted 5 minutes of your life watching crafts on Facebook?
1052. I don't adopt dog; dog adopts me
1053. Why was my life so much easier when I was 8?
1054. My persona is somebody who grew up with the Internet memes of 2011, but never left 2011
1055. What's up with those rib tattoos that look like you have the Declaration of Independence or your favorite Instagram quote written on them?
1056. ☆ I have never went to an important social gathering in my life
1057. If you're rich, the school's acceptance rate is 100%
1058. You know at the end of British detective shows, when you're so confused, don't remember who is who, and don't know what happened?
1059. I need someone to cuddle and watch trashy TV shows with
1060. I never liked watching sports. You should be playing, not watching. That's why fat
1061. I wish I had social skills
1062. My dementia grandma asked why the flags were flying at half mast today. They were McDonald's flags
1063. A modern Mark Twain
1064. These beauty companies say that they are "cruelty free." Staying beautiful is cruel
1065. When somebody said they only eat lobster tails, how many tails do you think lobsters have?
1066. ★ Most countries' politics are divided into 2 sides: the cool people, and the uncool people
1067. Doing well in school is nothing if you're lazy, socially inept, and not rich and classy.
1068. Nobody would go to the holiday party if it weren't for the facts of prizes, free drinks, and that we work for the same company
1069. All the leftist hypocrites who feel bad for the poor in theory but would never associate with them
1070. I like being treated like a human being
1071. Things to cure d3pression: friends, s3x, money
1072. Are friends on the Internet real friends?
1073. Does anybody want to go to Trader Joe's nearby for lunch, I need to buy 10 lbs of dark chocolate for my pain
1074. Massachusetts always vote Democrat
1075. How come most of the people you thought were hot or cool before are now not?
1076. For "most improved" awards, how bad were they before?
1077. Men's fashion is so easy, all you have to is wear a shirt, pants, and maybe a jacket. Women's fashion have all these dangling and elaborate layers.
1078. Kids may not be worth it if they drain your time, money, and emotions. Therefore I will die comfortably knowing that I spent all of my savings on stupid crap
1079. The executives email chain: "I will call in help. I will call in help. Let me know what I can do. I will call in help."
1080. "I got another compliment." "You misspell complaint."
1081. Do people who have no chance in election primaries know that they have no chance?
1082. ☆ I only accept thank you in the forms of food or money
1083. Do you see how easy your life is when you're a pretty woman?
1084. You don't have to be that smart to be rich, you just have to be selfish, greedy, and the biggest @sshole
1085. Desperate people work the hardest and do the best work
1086. Public records for a laundromat that makes $150,000,000
1087. Many around the world envy the wealth and splendor of the American middle class
1088. George Bush looks at the Middle East and all of its important non-oil contributions to the world
1089. I don't know what sports are
1090. I said I'm too busy to talk, and they said doing what, editing your Madonna playlist?
1091. Anything that makes things safer is also usually a huge pain in the @ss
1092. With that Bronze health insurance, I might as well just die if I got a health problem
1093. ☆ Unfortunately only rich people have human rights
1094. The best part about food and chocolate is that they're always there for you
1095. They don't know how hard it is to come up with a few tweets a day
1096. I hate how already privileged people usually get the best jobs. You already have money, save some for us
1097. Some 1 star Yelp reviews are ridiculous. "Gym showers smell like foot." What do you expect it to smell like, flowers?
1098. When you see cheap knockoffs like I am not a Wall Streeter, but a Wall Street TYPE
1099. 1 reason for so much inequality is because there is 1 "mega-person" for every 10 plebeians
1100. Interesting how U.S. capitalism in the 1800s, 1900s, and now are having the exact same problems and complaints
1101. I don't approve of weird and crazy people
1102. There are some vile forces on Twitter badly influencing society
1103. My robo financial advisor suggested that I diversify with lotto tickets because I'm never retiring at this rate
1104. ☆ Hopefully something can be learned from my life story because I didn't learn anything
1105. On Sunday night, I get an Outlook notification, and I'm like please be a stupid email
1106. The less money you have, the more you are at the mercy of everything and everybody
1107. Anyone went to Ocean Park HK? The tree is actually a trash can
1108. Why does this mega lawyer TV commercial imply that justice is worth more than 7 figures?
1109. How does the worn sock continue to exist?
1110. Compete with yourself because there's always somebody better
1111. Remember when the Fed used to blame the weather for minor economic fluctuations? It's like every day is the Ice Age for the poor
1112. I once ate a vegetarian meal and it was not filling at all, I needed real protein
1113. We have food at home. Is it good food? No
1114. I don't waste money on luxury clothes because you're still the same person underneath
1115. Rich people ask for smarter people's help
1116. It cracks me up that the ECB is always optimistic about the European economy
1117. I'm crying from the intense pain of having to go to work today
1118. Apparently, some people make millions of dollars from their pleasant appearances
1119. It's so difficult to be happy
1120. America's healthcare system is so screwed. On one end, there is the extremely overpriced corruption; on the other, there are people who rely on essential oils because the healthcare system sucks anyways.
1121. I have my essential oils manager on speed dial
1122. I don't consider it "real news" unless it's on DailyMail
1123. Everybody loves a good whale movie
1124. To market my crappy writing
1125. Getting 14 hours of sleep is essential for my beauty
1126. When companies have to buy commercials to tell you that they are a positive social change
1127. I think that many problem gamblers have a negative relationship with money that led them to it
1128. How come I start every work week with so much energy and motivation, then after 1 hour of work, I'm like "k!ll me"?
1129. Will this make me more like Madonna?
1130. Who owns everything, and who just does the accounting?
1131. If eating an American diet makes you stupid, I'll have double (double double cheeseburger)
1132. What would you do if you were rich? What would you do if you knew you were about to die? Then, why can't you implement some of those changes now?
1133. Rich influencer uses nonsensical Bible quotes
1134. I try to act classy, but deep down I am trashy
1135. I get why Hillary Clinton is the way that she is, she is Scorpio
1136. In the liberal arts, it seems the more unnatural your hair color is, the more authority that you have
1137. ☆ The market always has a way to p!ss everybody off
1138. During times like this, they realize, "I spent all of my money on stupid garbage"
1139. When I first dreamed of wanting more
1140. One time, I got a $25 Walmart gift card and felt like I was rich
1141. I always have a financial problem, the problem being that I'm not a multimillionaire
1142. You have to learn how to play the game, and you can't change reality
1143. I'll say whatever they want me to say, for money
1144. World governments always spending too much, printing money, and keeping bubble interest rates too low to make the poor poorer and rich richer
1145. AHHHHHHH!!!! Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
1146. Welcome to my standardized test tutoring. Read and pick the right answer
1147. They've spent more money on Candy Crush gacha app than their own family
1148. Why are companies so foolish they need to pay for others to solve their problems?
1149. There is no p-rn on the Internet
1150. ☆ Even though I am poor, I have excellent business sense
1151. That college is the type with Russians who majored in Russian to show how rich they are
1152. Great thing about being poor is you can wear whatever you want
1153. I would be a good candidate to work at the Federal Reserve because my predictions are also almost always incorrect
1154. Do they pretend to be stupid, or are they really not pretending?
1155. Trying to be what you think you ought to be
1156. Great part about freedom is, you can do anything, but choose to do nothing
1157. Traders are like, who's Warren Buffett?
1158. I like those towns where the only attraction is a Walmart
1159. I was already avoiding people 6 feet away even before COVID
1160. People should actually have more children during an economic d3pression so 1 of them has a chance of becoming Britney Spears
1161. She asked me if its ok to show shoulder, and I said yes, but don't show ankle because that is too much for this economy
1162. I get far worse diseases than COVID from the socially distant buffet
1163. Quarantine makes me miss even the rude @ss front gym attendant lady
1164. Just like oil futures, I have already been at rock bottom. The only way is up, I can't go any lower than 0!
1165. Happiness is within yourself
1166. Is it possible to be addicted to lazy?
1167. I need help from someone with at least a BS in Economy. I don't understand the stock market. Honey, neither does most of Wall Street
1168. I miss when my only job was to watch anime
1169. Aspiring role models for society: plays videogames and surfs web all day
1170. I'm normal, and everybody else is crazy
1171. How can I move on to the next chapter of my life, when I'm stuck on the first chapter, and my book is upside down?
1172. If you care so much what other people think, you might as well not do anything
1173. Everybody sees, but very few know
1174. Can pursuing knowledge lead you to the wrong places?
1175. Society is heading in a terrible direction! All you can do is take a selfie and smile
1176. ☆ Why does it feel like I'm in jail my whole life?
1177. You know those Instagram posts where somebody writes 5 paragraphs about their struggles next to a completely unfitting and unrelated photogenic swimsuit photo?
1178. The Israeli bingo parlor closed permanently
1179. Centuries later, people at Best Buy ask if they can 3D print from virtual reality while being remotely connected to their Amazon smart fridge
1180. Something is going to be good when it includes references to "time immemorial"
1181. Research shows that people waste a lot of their lives on absurdist Twitter comedy
1182. ★ I don't think there are enough inflammatory people in the White House
1183. In the end, billionaires will be the same as us, only you die in a COVID sewer with cannibal rats, and they have a mausoleum
1184. People should be released from their social status and clothes, and become one with their Beats by Dr. Dre
1185. Parents simply pretend to understand teenagers
1186. Thankfully, due to COVID, all of the cool rich people at the mall have dispersed
1187. After careful consideration, they have decided to put their life savings into mall real estate
1188. Why is my bank account balance so low?
1189. I attribute all of my success to knowing how to read
1190. Proud owner of basic social skills
1191. I remote desktop into my bag of Cheetos
1192. I had a COVID miracle. For some reason, my office never has paper towels, then I opened a drawer and found a hidden roll of toilet paper.
1193. Y'all victim of the occult Lang "Metropolis" influence on society
1194. You must expand your world from Local Area Network to Wide Area Network
1195. I don't know if my health supplement is actually sawdust
1196. When you think you're listening to a song, but the volume is 0
1197. Scientific research says that smoking does not increase the chances of COVID. Does it increase the chances of any other diseases?
1198. It's totally different being on the Internet than real life
1199. Why have I come to have such high expectations for Walmart?
1200. You know when music sounds totally different with headphones?
1201. I think I was happiest when I was a poor hillbilly
1202. Always there for you, except for when I'm not
1203. The less social interactions you have, the less chance there is of being annoying
1204. I need a loyal following to sell feet photos to
1205. You see mentally ill people on the train, but I'm the only one screaming Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance with Somebody"
1206. The only way to exorcise your inner demons is to go back to Circus Circus $29 hotel suite
1207. Find your Inner 3rd Eye quiet space
1208. I like the Internet now way more than real life
1209. ☆ Please join us as we congregate to worship Cyber Jesus
1210. Doing an endurance art called "Reading a Book for 8 Hours"
1211. Spreading an off-brand of nonsensical philosophy
1212. I hope that this isn't one of those crap where the reward is the journey
1213. Now available in 1 language
1214. I've spent my entire life trapped in boxes and peoples' expectations
1215. Without my slightly attractive beauty, I would have NOTHING
1216. ☆ Back then, people with strange thoughts were highly punished and executed. Today, people with strange thoughts are highly celebrated.
1217. Getting out of my Fat Elvis stage
1218. I like to collect useless stuff like rich people do
1219. I wish I could tell you that money doesn't solve your problems and make you happy, but it does
1220. All you gotta do is make it to 62.5, then return to the Promised Land of Las Vegas to spend your entire Social Security check on slots
1221. Let's throw in some random religious imagery, then it will be really good
1222. We only read biographies of successful people, but what about epic failures?
1223. Is em0 still a trend among the youth?
1224. I have to be both the breadwinner and the housewife
1225. Due to living in Revelatory times, I am in constant lookout for the "Wh0re of Babylon"
1226. You had this, and now you want that. Now you have that, and want this. It never ends
1227. Anime is the only companion you need
1228. Everybody looks good on the Internet
1229. You can marry them and be rich and miserable, or marry me and be poor and miserable
1230. Everything about that movie is ridiculous, which is why it's so good
1231. People are always doing home improvement. When is their home actually complete?
1232. COVID has pushed me well past the point of turning all people and interactions into Data
1233. I got painful backne and frontne
1234. Instead of Guantanamo, the CIA should try tickle torture
1235. There's only 2 ways to take your mind off, their names are Saturday and Sunday
1236. Nobody cares what you have to say or think, just take off your clothes
1237. I've had enough of this hypercompetitive pervert system!
1238. They try to distribute money to those who need it the most: the rich and corporations
1239. It only took a few decades, but finally the lifestyle of limited social and using a computer all day became normal
1240. How much of the multibillion dollar cybersecurity industry is from people opening "file.exe"?
1241. All are welcome to my Twitter
1242. People ask, "Why?" Then I say, "Why not?"
1243. NEVER assume my pronouns.
1244. *Rolls eyes like teen queen* Whatever!!! Whatever!!!
1245. The Internet has turned people's attention spans into fish
1246. I hate when people you like die
1247. Instead of spending trillions on war, they should have spent it on skincare
1248. There are like 12 different mes, and I lost control of all of them
1249. I don't want any perverts to touch me
1250. On the Internet, you can live forever
1251. Can't tell the difference between erratic and erotic
1252. Those snobs don't care about anybody who's not rich. They probably don't care about you either
1253. I hate when events need you to bring your own chair. Do they think that we are all millionaires?
1254. I'm the type of person who orders non-alcoholic water at a bar
1255. If you are a big business and donate to both parties, then you can't lose
1256. I point to the local neighborhood Tweaker and say, "Even he has better skin and more money than me."
1257. I can't afford therapy, so I turned to the Internet for help
1258. The moral fabric of society is decaying now that the cities are overrun with Tweakers and Twerkers
1259. Ok, we'll stop arguing about the past. Now we argue about the future
1260. Personalized targeted ad: Can we ask you a few questions about your persistent nodular cyst acne? The answer is NO
1261. The world is very messed up, very unfair, very sad, that's how life works, deal with it
1262. I'm dying without skincare
1263. Every economic system sucks, but you have to deal with it
1264. Why do many of the cool people from school end up getting tattoos?
1265. Why is all of the cutting edge technology with videogames?
1266. Now would be a good time to sign up for a paid NASA lying in bed experiment
1267. She is known as the Oprah of Oprah
1268. It's sad when those who are good at their work don't understand office politicians
1269. ☆ The stock market is RACIST
1270. They spent more on their digital avatar's clothing than real life clothing
1271. ★ Left, right, up, down, it doesn't matter your political alignment, the establishment has you on a yo-yo
1272. I think people learned by now, there is nothing embarassing anymore
1273. I feel like you should be real on the Internet
1274. Spinning around with their hands in the air like a crazy anime character, thinking how much the world will worship them
1275. In a few decades, college will be so expensive that it will only be for the children of rich or famous people
1276. Do you remember when we ate at a restaurant?
1277. I feel that we are entering a technological utopia
1278. When the web presenter told the other, make sure you press mute after so there's not a repeat of what happened last time, I really wonder what happened last time
1279. I like new technology, I just don't know how to use it
1280. Does anybody else find making money to be a huge pain in the @ss?
1281. I would rather be a dumb rich person than a smart poor person
1282. There are so many office politicians that they should make their own Congress
1283. As a useless person, I decided forge a career on social media
1284. Is somebody actually hacking, or am I just that bad at this game? I feel as risky as a Sonic character with 0 rings left
1285. ★ Which do you think the rich people in Congress care more about, ordinary people or the stock market falling?
1286. Did you try rebooting your life?
1287. Have any of you worked at a place where 1 person makes a ton of money, and everybody else makes little? Is that how it works?
1288. Use the "I'm still young" excuse well into your 50s
1289. When a manager makes a mistake, it's your fault
1290. Do you know the conservative theory where lowering taxes raises taxes?
1291. Interacting with others? People only do that in videogames
1292. Read about my daring escape from the famous Hamburglar
1293. Why are Boomer medical companies always on the search for the next Viagra?
1294. When "server is unavailable," I keep clicking retry every few seconds like an addict
1295. ☆ I hate the Internet!
1296. Those rich people want their kids to get into an extremely competitive Ivy League kindergarten
1297. This game is RIGGED!
1298. I hate how your worth and income is determined by your skills
1299. ☆ Do you know those people who are great at giving advice, but their own life is a gigantic wreck?
1300. It's important that there are people like me who help to "cheapen the brand"
1301. Who else remembers how much better times were under the gold standard?
1302. Does anybody else have lots of class but no money?
1303. Registering quickly for new apps so I can get a low number Inuyasha username
1304. How many pairs of pants do you really need when you only have 1 butt?
1305. Congress, give us back more of our hard-earned money you rich b@stards
1306. D@mn you Chester Cheetah!
1307. I hate how corporations control the Internet now instead of grassroots 4chan when I first started
1308. There was a long Excel color-coded table of tasks, and the only 1 I looked forward to was "completion dinner"
1309. I have no idea how people in the 1800s lived without social media
1310. I can't dumb it down, even the 12 year old Gen Z bitcoin traders and programmers in the audience are hyperintelligent
1311. People are like you don't want to do this, it's too hard. Honey, you have never worked in accounting before
1312. Is daily life merely an adaptation within a built framework?
1313. How human am I to be here alone at this hour?
1314. Writing on the phone definitely beats scribbling with mechanical pencil in the dark and waking up to cracked lead and illegible cuneiform
1315. Nothing in the galaxy of which I am not even an ant
1316. People think they are the most important animals
1317. I try to take somewhat aesthetic and interesting photos
1318. The less visible average citizen supports a countries’ backbone, while politically and financially important people dominate the mainstream news
1319. Anticipation, swirling, disorienting confusion, and KFC-induced high blood pressure
1320. Time and effort does not always equal results, but are always necessary
1321. The uncertainties of where the road of life will take you
1322. He claimed I was "the worst driver he ever taught," and I asked to be even worse than the age 65+ people
1323. I wonder if, despite nearly a century passing with new gadgets and the Internet, many fundamentals of American society haven't changed
1324. My virtual self is my real self
1325. I get points for trying
1326. Don't you hate when you're in 1st place, and then 8 projectiles ram after you
1327. If you never try to live the life you want, you never will
1328. Does anybody else have moments of clarity punctuating long periods of incoherent rambling?
1329. Years later, battered by 2008 and 2020 and still hung up on Facebook, Millenials serve hor'deurves to teenage TikTok and crypto millionaires doing Fortnite dance
1330. My life begins and ends on the Internet
1331. The cold, technocratic dominance of numbers
1332. I wonder what the rich and sparkly people are doing right now
1333. They used CRISPY gene editing to turn me into bacon
1334. How can you become rich and successful without having to do anything?
1335. I hate when shields only protect against physical damage but not mental
1336. When you're working the register near Halloween, and there is a long line of angry costumers
1337. I have been using the Internet since dial-up. Therefore, my opinion is more valid
1338. All of these fake profiles make me wonder if they are real, and I am fake
1339. When you read a group announcement about, "We are aware of various online s3xtortionists"
1340. How dare someone tell me something in metric system; this is America, not the rest of the world
1341. ☆ Where are the Communists on LinkedIn?
1342. Many companies have issues with pirates. I'm talking about the Internet copyright ones, not the s3xy 1-eyed kind from Somalia
1343. I wouldn't want to join the rare and elite group of people who died taking a selfie
1344. Funny because they have no real skills
1345. I hate when my videogame is down. How will I feel like I accomplished something today?
1346. It is my dream to be wealthy enough to tw3rk all around the world
1347. Genius scientists find new treatments quickly, while, as a writer, I only found new ways to arrange words
1348. I wrote years ago when I was immature. Years later, I'm still immature
1349. All are welcome on the Internet
1350. Why are the most annoying characters in the game the most popular, just like people on the Internet?
1351. Tell them why you shouldn't become a writer
1352. ☆ I step on my own sticky rat trap, and think, wow, that rat outsmarted me again
1353. Before accounting, we all had dreams
1354. I hate when you're selling something online for $100, then billionaires say, "I'll offer you $15"
1355. If you're a bard in ancient Greece, people read your papyrus and think, wow, this is good stuff
1356. They were married for 5 seconds and hated every minute of it
1357. The world has turned into Instagram
1358. Have any of you ever worked in a job that made you wonder, what is the purpose of living?
1359. It's an Internet world, and we're just living in it
1360. These angry climate change vegans say, "Go Tofurkey yourself!"
1361. ☆ Now that you're done with Detox, to keep the business going, it's time for Retox
1362. My phone and I are both slow and overheating
1363. We're talking about spambots, algos, AOL CDs, dial-up modem jams, GIFs, and emoji stickers
1364. What transferable skills do you have? *crickets*
1365. I feel like that 50s year old guy dressed as a hamburger, so confident that he was going to be internationally prominent
1366. Is our admiration of Internet people turning into a commodity?
1367. Win in excess of $1 million from an international dog bite settlement
1368. This Tumblr girl asks, "Can I analyze a character from my own writing?" The exasperated English teacher said no in a polite but angry way.
1369. Basically, we'll accept anyone as long as you pay
1370. We have to thank the virtual K9 police force for biting the bad people in the dark web
1371. I am the Internet
1372. Instagram is to Snapchat as Reddit is to Discord
1373. Clean behind your pineal glands
1374. I need to eat less
1375. My top music legend feuds: Madonna vs. Cher. Michael Jackson vs. Prince. Whitney Houston vs. herself (sad!).
1376. They are a hot mess, but at least they are HOT
1377. An intergenerational, interclass, interspecies battle between Boomers and Zoomers fought on the fair battleground of Fortnite
1378. To get any attention nowadays, you have to be crazy
1379. DicksonHe.com crack keygen ISO
1380. Watching TikTok feels like what we elderly used to call TV channel surfing
1381. Seeing how expired those pralines were, I Yeet Deez Nuts all the way back to when they were Walking Like an Egyptian
1382. ☆ I followed my dreams into a lava pool
1383. Fighting a losing battle against time robbing me of my youth essence
1384. Authoritative source: somebody from Reddit
1385. Author of psychological self-help book, "You're Not Crazy, You're Just H0rny"
1386. Many popular teenagers have cracked the social media code, yet most college graduates cannot. Who are the foolish ones?
1387. I never understood the sports obsession in one of the world's most obese countries
1388. How dating works: everyone you like, doesn't like you, and everyone who likes you, you don't like
1389. One good reason for siblings is organ harvesting
1390. Don't judge others, nobody chooses to be born stupid or ugly
1391. ☆ Every person should be in the 1%
1392. Someone who lives at Federal Penitentiary, maybe they are a lawyer?
1393. I sometimes miss when I used to go to an office so I could read the DailyMail in peace
1394. I have already seen some of the worst of humanity, for I used to work in parking
1395. The best way to enjoy an entertaining Internet train wreck is virtually, from a distance
1396. If capitalism benefits those with capital, who does vampirism benefit?
1397. It was a long time since I have seen an anachronism
1398. I have this strange feeling where I don't know what I want, but feel like I am missing something
1399. Are both parties just to divide and entertain the masses even though they serve the same powerful corporate interests?
1400. They were useless, so they decided to become a politician
1401. I wonder if the President of the United States is busy right now
1402. ☆ Why is the world designed to break you?
1403. Make sure that your mind is not polluted with garbage
1404. I was lucky to be born a "rhythm baby"
1405. An outspoken and misunderstood avant-garde firebrand
1406. Watching Geico Gecko and Flo from Progressive fight to give me car insurance savings
1407. This gives me chills and tingles
1408. Those who cannot make good videos in the unfettered rise of the "meriTikTokcracy"
1409. Who else feels that their life is also a gigantic YouTube Poop?
1410. Spewing random Americanisms like "anybody can become successful with hard work"
1411. Who else sees a postracial society where people are not judged by their race, but by their money?
1412. I'm sick of people on the Internet using their good looks to get whatever they want
1413. Every day, billions of people pursue their own self-interest
1414. If I have a child, I will call them "Tax Credit #1"
1415. Some people have no personalities besides their pleasant appearance
1416. Somebody please give the stock market some Viagra, it's not going UP
1417. When I was young and full of energy, I wanted the big city life. Now that I'm old, I just want to sleep.
1418. TikTok bajillionaires avocado mash up Live Their Best Lives and YOLO
1419. Get away from me and my children, you Internet camera sirens!
1420. The last time they got into a drunken brawl with the Federal Reserve Board of Governors
1421. I will pursue my dreams, regardless of humongous student debt accrual
1422. Those professors that made you wonder, they get to study THAT for a living?
1423. You're lucky if you can even save
1424. I try to make content that is angelic, fun, friendly, wholesome, and healing
1425. We have a Tweet for everyone, you just have to find yours
1426. They will screw with society in the name of Global Warming
1427. One day, the upper classes will isolate themselves on another planet
1428. Now that humans are messing with Mars, they must consider its climate change
1429. If I had as difficult of a life as they had, I wouldn't smile either
1430. Thank you for visiting the DicksonHe.com cultural institution, where admission is always free
1431. ASMR is a dirty industry; one YouTuber goes away, and they are quickly replaced by another
1432. Why are Zoomers so much cooler than my generation?
1433. New politicians who are "even more liberal than AOC"
1434. Forget Green New Deal, we need a Green World War to get every country to comply
1435. Called to the promise of a better world through technology
1436. I went on a juice cleanse that went out of control
1437. They need to show the world that they are s3xy now
1438. In the future, there will be far fewer comedians because most of them will be cancelled
1439. LinkedIn is like Instagram for ugly people
1440. Should we burn the past traditions in an iconoclastic blaze and start anew? After all, they didn't have the Internet back then.
1441. I don't know what's real, and what's digital anymore
1442. Despite your opinion not mattering due to oligarchy, I like to read differing opinions, and think that the rants are funny
1443. Here are my accomplishments: hands interviewer a blank piece of paper
1444. None of you TikTokers are old enough to remember when a gallon of milk was $0.05, and the Dow Jones was $12
1445. Read my detailed plan to create lasting world peace and reduce climate change and inequality:
1446. They came from Planet Autism
1447. I am an extremely unpopular influencer
1448. They are already talking about quantum computing and exobytes when most of us cannot rotate a PDF
1449. Hype houses show everything that is wrong with society
1450. Are NFTs legitimate, or a new tool for high-tech grifters?
1451. Millions of overweight Americans are right, the food here is wonderful
1452. Retweet if you're one of the few people left with Morals in this society
1453. Humans are the weirdest mammals
1454. Lounging in a hotel, reading Manga
1455. I'm done with humans
1456. Someone once said that I'm like a cartoon character
1457. Join my church, which is conveneniently disguised as an OnlyF@ns page
1458. I'm a very busy person, I need to go back home and sleep
1459. Somebody needs to cleanse the Internet of its sins, all of it
1460. I have to go accept a made-up award made just for me
1461. Was George Bush the real terrorist?
1462. The minute I met them, I sensed that they were crazy
1463. Some people at the gym megadose on dinosaur vitamins
1464. ☆ I want to be Good, but being poor makes me Bad
1465. Does anybody else also have a neighbor who is always slicing stuff?
1466. I am sick of people who depend on their pleasant appearances to get by
1467. Will today be "mask of professionalism" or "mask of h0rny demon furry"?
1468. ☆ The more education you get, the crazier you become
1469. Most trust fund babies cannot create good art because they never had to suffer as an ordinary person
1470. It's 2021, and despite all of the advancements in technology, we still don't have the "Smell O Vision"
1471. I'm dumb enough to believe that everyone on the Internet is a nice person
1472. Society needs a few socially acceptable crazy people
1473. When I am in front of the camera, it is like I become a different one of my many persons
1474. Sometimes, the soy fake food tastes better than the real one
1475. It's ironic that cultural gatekeepers are often politically liberal yet extremely elitist
1476. Ordinary people trying to become rappers, and rappers trying to become ordinary people
1477. ☆ Any crazy person can start their own religion now
1478. We're all in the top 1% of something
1479. In the final stages of evolution, we will all become like Gwyneth Paltrow
1480. You buy some smart device to look at the weather, but do everything except that
1481. The more I use technology, the more I despise it
1482. Sorry, I can't come to meet you. Climate change
1483. Imagine 1850 adultery story "The Scarlet Letter" but set in today's world
1484. In my limited experience, the only things I see using Linux are servers or people who are full blown crazy
1485. It surprises me that many doctors, some of the smartest and most educated people, have differing opinions on various subjects. What is the real science?
1486. Trickle down economists say, you should be thankful you have 1 extra penny instead of none
1487. When Mark Wahlberg shows us his schedule, and you find out that his job is to exercise
1488. I was permanently canceled over 5 times
1489. They claim to be married to some anime pirate
1490. The more typos they have, the higher up they are at a company
1491. If we start life on Mars, we will be their aliens
1492. I help fulfill the agenda
1493. This is corporation, I do not expect to be treated like a human being
1494. Why does doing nothing feel so good?
1495. In an alternate reality, I will clone and raise my deceased father as one of my many children
1496. In the Whole Foods of H3ll, you eat jicama for the rest of your life
1497. Delaying aging is of utmost importance. We need Boomer Karens in their 100s yelling at us without a mask about French fries well into our 60s.
1498. Who says rich people don't create jobs, they're hiring a foot massager
1499. When you get infected with a K-pop virus that installs Handsomeware
1500. They were kicked out of Heaven for being too annoying
1501. Does anybody know any suitable jobs where you don't have to use a computer?
1502. I will always be mesmerized by British royalty and their gigantic hats show and tell
1503. Do not ask rich people for help, they won't send down their ladder but instead send pigeons to poop on you
1504. Thinks that I'm "too good" to watch TV, but stares at a wall all day
1505. I don't understand why companies whose work can be done at home are forcing people back. Why do they want to see me so badly?
1506. Never forget that most people don't need social media to be a functional person. In fact, social media needs THEM
1507. There is always a group of people worse off than you and should make you thankful for everything that you have
1508. Another day in the technological H3ll that we all live in
1509. Unfortunately, I have to act and behave classy now. No more screaming at people and tw3rking at the Korean fried chicken joint
1510. I can't stand seeing spoiled rich people working on their weird art projects
1511. They don't mind paying fair taxes if it helped ordinary people, but instead it goes to random garbage
1512. The Internet shows everybody's deepest secrets and desires, that is why the top websites are
1513. Social media just gives crazy people a megaphone
1514. I just use this to post my rants
1515. It's always other people who make everything worse for everybody
1516. The more of the world I saw, the more it all looked the same
1517. I hate when you have to lift such a heavy burden at work because you are surrounded by useless pretty boys
1518. ☆ How are Americans considered both hardworking and lazy?
1519. The best times in my life were when I felt like I didn't need to do anything, so I did whatever I wanted
1520. Why would you willingly sabotage your health and wellbeing?
1521. I miss when you were young and could just learn for the sake of learning. Now, we only learn to make a higher salary.
1522. Everybody thinks they are a content creator now. More like a garbage creator (myself included)
1523. One day, the government may open a Department of Pronouns to much controversy
1524. Imagine if your life were decided by an algorithm
1525. I am a living Meme
1526. People nowadays only live for flavor
1527. Your education doesn't end when school does. In fact, you may learn more than you ever have
1528. I miss when I was an overconfident young person before getting crushed by the grinding wheels of society
1529. Everyone needs a 2nd chance, I am on my 15th one
1530. Sometimes, I miss the gh3tto
1531. I once saw a successful person run into a glass wall at Macy's, and the band of homeless people on the other side laughed at them
1532. I sit my voluptuous phat @ss on the rolling chair worth more than me in my isolated autism cubicle (I wasn't going to talk to anyone anyways), fire up Microsoft Excel, and inside scream
1533. Be thankful that companies aren't more efficient, otherwise you wouldn't have a job
1534. Capitalism has graced us with draconian terms like "iron law of wages" and "reserve army of the unemployed"
1535. Why does it seem like the best artists are full blown crazy?
1536. I can't stand rich people with fake occupations
1537. There are huge differences between what you can do, what you want to do, and what companies demand that you do
1538. Back then farming was for poor people, today it is a luxury
1539. Capitalism is an incredibly cruel but surprisingly fair system
1540. People are never at peace, they always need something to be angry about
1541. Who else hates where they live, but also loves where they live?
1542. Someone says, "I want burger." No, you get crudite
1543. I know some people born of good talents and use it for all of the wrong things
1544. We do not want smart people making decisions
1545. The Internet: a fascinating look at the collective unconscious of Perverts around the world
1546. ☆ America is the only country where you can achieve the American Dream
1547. I like nice people, but they often can't solve your financial, s3xual, and mental problems
1548. I believe that the vast majority of the population now suffers from psychos3xual financial problems
1549. Imagine a dystopia where everyone is turned into Numbers
1550. We are looking for people who are smart but trashy
1551. Homeless people in highly visible areas remind you what happens if you mess up
1552. The elites live in their own castles, and they don't have time for you
1553. I love the Boomer lifestyle, the "I don't care and just want to watch football and go to the buffet"
1554. They will procure several pairs of identical twins for their twin studies
1555. One of the most eccentric people I've had the displeasure of meeting
1556. Most anonymous Internet users type like they are an all-powerful God
1557. Give yourself a pat on the back for being born
1558. Why do they always have to make the evil people cool and s3xy?
1559. What do you like most about living in the city? The people. What do you hate most? Also the people
1560. I'm going to use you and spit you back out like every company in the world
1561. Almost everything is trying to harm you, so you go back to the healthcare industry
1562. Accidentally asked if a hearse was the death limo
1563. I don't want fame, I just want the opportunities it comes with
1564. Many genes are so random, even siblings can be very different
1565. On the Internet, people who otherwise look like a mop could be a famous influencer
1566. They say Boston is the Athens of America. More like the H3LL of H3LL
1567. I could be weirder, if only I didn't have to control everything I say and do
1568. 30 is the new 12
1569. They got vinyl to listen to "Any Turkey Can Tango"
1570. That is only creepy because it was a bunch of rich and powerful people. If it were homeless or ugly hillbillies, nobody would care.
1571. Corrupt minds of the youth with terrible music like mine's was
1572. Those animals just have s3x and then die
1573. I can't be funny or crazy anymore because I've been too corporatized
1574. Yet you read it anyways
1575. Disguises when you're in need of privacy
1576. This hunched over short old man wearing a nice suit gave the most rude and evil stare like he despised everyone. It's not my fault you're miserable!
1577. Talking to a New Yorker is like, "I'm going to - with an artist like Basquiat and have them paint me as an abstraction"
1578. There are 2 types of rich people: the good rich with good behavior, and the crazy
1579. There are tons of successful and powerful lower IQ people
1580. I knew some cool people from back then in Las Vegas, but it is just not a good environment. Most of them left. You live near crazy tourists and every type of addict.
1581. So many elites are awful and incompetent because the public didn't choose them, they chose themselves
1582. People like me only care about tw3rking, having too many children, and becoming obese by eating delicious fried greasy foods.
1583. I can't even earn much, which leads to more risky and fantasizing behavior
1584. A work of art doesn't change, but you do
1585. You probably learn most about American culture from commercials
1586. At office, you work hard so 5 people don't have to
1587. As much as it destroyed my life and gave me lifelong issues, I actually want to go back
1588. The popular people, everybody likes. The crazy people, only a few can stand.
1589. Use your BRAIN to become RICH
1590. The longer I sit outside, the more I despise computer
1591. When you go fishing in a videogame and never catch one, just like real life
1592. Asians developed an evolutionary preference for intelligence due to their life-changing Gaokao exam that is at least 3 times worse than the SAT
1593. I just want to sing, laugh, and dance. Not this time, go act like Jesus another time, not in this economy.
1594. Religious leaders used to control everybody because they knew that very few people actually bother to read or understand the Bible.
1595. Nobody needs to be responsible for their health anymore apparently; you can just use Ozempic and eat 10 HoHo cakes in 1 sitting.
1596. When a social worker dates a sociopath
1597. The US has the freedom to invade any country that it wants!
1598. What do they study at elite Ivy League universities, how to act like a bellend?
1599. That coworker whom everybody despised, but the older you get, the more you begin to understand them
1600. He gave the most terrifying and bowel emptying autistic screech before starting to go ballistic in demon mode.
1601. Sitting on the train, everybody is just using their phone peacefully
1602. ★ They will demand far more than they will ever pay in.
1603. Although many ultra rich people try to avoid them, the masses can be so fun and entertaining to be a part of
1604. The days are gone when you can just be an average person and have an average life. Now you have to be above average just to have an average life.
1605. I live in a place so stressful that it seems like most people will end up bald, overweight, or crazy.
1606. After living in Massachusetts, I see why God in the Bible sent the giant flood.
1607. Only those with too much time or money have energy for fashion. If you work, you usually just throw something on, conform, and try to go as fast as possible.
1608. Going into a creative or artistic field is strongly discouraged as many pursue them as a hobby for free.
1609. Some elite people are just born like a freak accident
1610. It seems like with government intervention, everytime you need it, it's not there. Then, when you don't need it, they make matters worse and distort the natural order of things.
1611. The more you give them, the more irresponsible they become
1612. Can you be both Philanthropist and Misanthropist?
1613. Some people are just very talented at existing.
1614. All those influencers who play dumb and say, "I don't know much about economics," probably understand the most.
1615. ☆ Their opinion doesn't matter because they are dead.
1616. ☆ I believe that it is a fundamental human desire to own lots of useless crap.
1617. I admire their feral freedom energy. However, most think their private parts are only for their partner to see.
1618. I think Las Vegas, NV, 31st in GDP, embodies poor trying to look and act rich.
1619. ☆ Anything that looks like "easy money" is probably not!
1620. It seems these days, anybody who is slightly above average looking, skinny, tall, or has rich parents now calls themself a model.
1621. I know some people, outside of their beautiful face which will fade, they have nothing.
1622. Why does it seem like the older you get, the more conscious you are that we're all just dead in the end?
1623. Convert "people" into "money."
1624. I always see somebody beautiful living in poverty-like conditions.
1625. I think everyone who has kids is taking a gamble that they will get some good genes.
1626. The Statue of Liberty gives you your right to be a h0.
1627. What happens to all of the people who are beautiful but stupid?
1628. You are not allowed to breathe today due to Climate Change.
1629. As I get older and wiser, now I understand why all of those corporate people are like this. They did not choose this; their mortgage, spouse, and children chose for them.
1630. If it were actually that good, they wouldn't be selling it.
1631. What are they going to do, scream about it on the Internet?
1632. As it is a free country, they can believe whatever they want to believe.
