Neon Tears

Now, an in the mood attempt at stream of consciousness creative writing...

Sometimes at night when I'm alone I cry neon tears, staring out the window of my dorm, seeing the pitiful faint red and green reflections of the traffic lights on glass as a poor substitute for a real, beautiful, glitzy city unlike the old and ugly concrete Boston (no offense - well, at least compared to some cities in other countries). I weep for the past, present, and future, for no reason other than the cathartic feeling, cherishing my limited time to be an artsy fart in the best ruminating and reflective periods of past midnight. Actually, I'm not even crying because my eyes are too dry.

I'm not even sad. I just like doing this, maybe because I'm out of place and am missing something that can't be returned. I'm happy, I rise, and I write cheesy song lyrics when I'm in the mood. I feel that humor, sensitivity, and creativity are lacking value and have no real place or need in certain spreadsheet functions, and their purported amazing usefulness is bullspit for most intents and purposes.

I don't want to sink into the singularity and solipsism of myself, but it's hard not to at night when I'm wrapped comfortably and warmly in a blanket to share numb appreciation of everything ordinary. At the same time, I must lash at the confines of the ordinary of which I am over-flowery-language educated since it has no use, probably since I'm not going to law school and read too much for nothing. I'm not optimistic that creative writing will ever find a use other than on my stinky blog in the corner of the Internet and universe where I express most of my decorous opinions.

I can't sleep yet, and I need a swig of famous Massachusetts tap water. Maybe I will try to doze off soon and forget everything I wrote, but the electrons in my brain are brewing a mild storm like the very light sprinkles today in the overcast skies. Oh atmosphere, you tease us but are absolutely nothing in the galaxy of which I am not even an ant. People think they are the most important animals. My, my, my...