The Brighter Side to Rejection from the Big 4

It's raining outside. 2 days later, I knew that the offer call from my only accounting Big 4 interview wasn't coming. The gnawing feeling sunk, and the KFC binge didn't help. If I were poetic and had guts, which I am not and do not and is thus why I am studying the staid language of accounting, I would stand out in the rain like Charlie Chaplin to hide my irrational and nonsensical tears. I watched friends get their offers of which I am proud, but I am left behind with a lot of unnecessary wasted time, effort, and other things I would rather have done. Sayonara, September!

If this is unusually emotional, expressive, and vulnerable, an assigned book from my marketing class, Never Eat Alone, mentioned that it's okay to express how you feel even with disappointments and writing. To me, writing is a great panacea like what Hippocrates said about walking, and at least I'm not afraid to bare it since I didn't have time to post much in September anyways.

Is It You, or Is It Me?
Of course, looking for job, internship, or co-op can be a frustrating, zig-zagging, winding road and not a straight path to Shangri-La. I admit that I fantasized and planned the year ahead based on the false presumption of a Big 4 cloud that vanished.

Of course, just like in any courting relationship, the feeling resides: is it me?

Maybe I was too nervous, awkward, annoying, and/or boring, maybe they think I am an Asian grades robot-cyborg stereotype, maybe the stack of others' resumes had much more advanced and desirable work experience, maybe I am not pretty enough, maybe they had a small quota and needed to trim the weeds...

One of my biggest pet peeves is the lack of follow-up (they are too busy) and heady non-disclosure of, "He/She was not the right fit," which is meant to avoid lawsuits among other things. Is it code for, "You suck and are not good enough in some way, shape, or form?"

I don't want to hear the "everybody gets a trophy" crap because clearly, not everyone gets a job, and the audit partner of medical devices talked about how it is an extremely competitive medical devices environment, including with what I termed as foreign competition and a dog-eat-dog world.

As realist or pessimistically-tinged as this sounds, truthfully, I am still happy, positive, optimistic, and satisfied (though not completely of course).

The Stages of Grief
Everyone has seen the Kübler-Ross model somewhere online: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This constitutes the beginning of my acceptance.

Time and Effort Does not Always Equal Results, but Are Always Necessary
"Work smarter, not harder." Do what you enjoy that can pay the bills?

Invigoration by Failure, and I Didn't Fail Enough
This is probably my favorite and most important takeaway blurb. Although I feel that I failed more than average compared to other people in several respects, I take it in stride and survive anyways.

I absolutely love this story from Barbara Corcoran on Capitalist Chicks after her ex-husband cheated on her with his secretary: "After dividing up the assets of their small business, Barbara decided she would continue on her own. Ramóne’s parting words to Barbara were, 'You know Barbara, you will never succeed without me.' That was all the motivation she needed. Barbara vowed, 'I would rather die than let him see me fail.'"

I feel that I haven't taken enough risks even in small things, doing things by the book (like the GAAP book), and, as a result, did not experience enough valuable failure.

*from my cousin who dropped in from China, thanks! Actually, it didn't taste as good as it looks, but still.

I'm an accounting amateur with no real accounting experience, so this article is not meant to be a Going Concern type to apply to most accountants, but I hope we gain something together if you somehow managed to read this far.

"No Rain, Can't Get the Rainbow"
I started with feeling anticipation, swirling, disorienting confusion, and KFC-induced high blood pressure like one of my favorite French songs, "Désenchantée," which I obscurely introduced here. "Tout est chaos... A côté..."

However, I end cautiously optimistic, knowing that there are other jobs and opportunities, maybe even in non-accounting. I love much of J-pop star Ayumi Hamasaki's songs, and the rain outside curiously ended as I finished writing this post: "No rain, can't get the rainbow! No rain, can't get the rainbow..." I guess in life, we can't see a rainbow without the rain (lyrics here).