Accounting Master Post


Accounting Jokes:

I don't know for sure if I'll become an accountant after I graduate, but I came up with some "total accounting move" jokes:

I went to the music store and saw Cher's latest album. I had to do a "Cher" buyback.

That company was a work of art made by creative accountants. Its name was Enron.

In 1490s Spain, there were murders and inquisitions (mergers and acquisitions).

When I took a walk, a squirrel a-taxed me.

When I went to the toilet, I discounted my bowel flows.

YES THESE ARE AWFUL

Quote About Friends:

"Friends are like company income statements. Some come in, some go out, but the ones that stay are net profit."

Things That Should Be Started:

-Forever 40: A chain of clothing stores for conservative professionals like accountants and lawyers
-Moderately Affluent Kids of Instagram: Debauch photos from kids who are moderately well-off but not so much that they don't have to work or live off capital
-An official Windows operating system that also runs Android

Fake Cover Letter Excerpt:

Let's be honest, cover letters are boring, and you probably have more important things to do than read this. The specific catalysts of the boredom are how most cover letters regurgitate what's clearly emphasized on a resume while peppering in an obviously strong desire to work here (else one wouldn't bother applying). So, I shall be brief in my points.

Fake Accounting Resume Excerpt:

Summary: I'm an enthusiastic accountant who loves his job so much that I would hug it if it were a person. I can play many roles in the boardroom and in the bedroom (not really, I just thought that this would sound funny). I like auditing, assurance, tax, and long walks on my Excel spreadsheet.

"Ever since my favorite childhood toys were a plastic cash register and play money, I knew that accounting was my destiny."