Asian Grandma Hoarding

I'm not an expert on everyone's modus operandi, but one funny situation with a kind but misguided Asian granny needs writing. Gift giving is a part of many cultures including Chinese sometimes to the point of corruption, but this isn't about such rarefied deeds.

The Trojan horse

An older but wiser family friend came to our house bearing gifts of soft drinks that she couldn't drink. Luckily, to prevent a long episode of stomach upset, someone asked me to read the expiration dates since he was too Squanto (I mean squinty) and couldn't read the small print of exotic drinks like Zevia and 0-calorie root beer.
WTH is this?

At first, I thought the dates were some weird European format but discovered, to my horror, that some expired in 2014 and 2004 (!). I thought my eyes were Squanto and deceiving me.

If only they weren't soft drinks...

I quipped, "The can is more valuable than the drink" due to the recyclable salvage value (accounting ftw). Later, on a car ride to visit our own grandma, I hatched a joke plan where the friend should buy some Rothschild vintage and keep it in her nest for a decade like a rooster similarly to the soft drinks. To conclude, I said in Canto, "She had good intentions, but bad things."

Asian supermarket essentials - the calendar and newspapers

My own grandma is similar. Several years ago, when my cousin was a BU undergrad also consulting the family shaman for advice, she had to ask, "What year is it from?" before eating or drinking anything. I think I need to ask, "What century is it from?"

Her hoarding habits include some Boston T-shirts at events dated in the 90s with former mayors written on them. Interestingly, she used to have my baby clothes and needed to be convinced to get rid of them. I am also part hoarder if only because I remember the place and purpose of many items. Aiyah!